Monday, January 11, 2016

A message to 15 year-old Hani

At the age of 15 years old, you got everything that you wanted. Went to you dream school, Straight As in PMR and be the best student (academic) in your batch.

You fell in love for the first time. Lolz. But, yeah. You were in denial. You won't admit that you actually fell in love with people who had XY chromosomes. People always said that you and him were the perfect couple because  both of you were good in academic performances. You kept on denying that. You told them that you were not in a relationship, which in a matter of fact was true. Both of you didn't in a relationship or proclaimed that you were a couple. It was just that you liked being loved, or there was someone who like you and concern about you.

You hardly fell in love, but once you fell in love, you fell hard on that person. So that's what happen.
You seemed that you didn't care. You didn't treat that guy like what he should be because you were such an egomaniac person. Your ego was as high as the Mount Everest needless to say.

But beware, 16-17 years old Hani were a lot more to come. It was such a tumultuous ride for you. Your academic performances wasn't good enough as what you had expected. You felt horrendously embarrassed to your friends but most of the time, you actually felt ashamed of yourself. You tried so hard to get good marks like you have always did during lower form but you can't. But never mind, it helped you learnt that things weren't always rainbows and butterflies but they compromised as you moved along. 

You learnt that life had its ups and downs. You learnt to be at the lowest point. You learnt how to struggle how to fit in. You learnt how it feels like to get bad marks for your exam which nearly gave you heart attack when you almost failed your Add Maths. 

You also learnt how it feels like to have a broken heart just because of the puppy love. Heck it was hurt, like hell. But never mind, it healed soon. Fast enough before you expected.

You learnt so many things and then you decided to make a 180 degree change in your life. A baby step- that's what people call it, tho at that time you were 17 years old. But it was never too late to change. Don't give a damn what others talked about you because that's what you were good at. You never seemed like to care what other thinks about you. 

You were also a straight person. You told the others what you think out loud. Never be afraid of it, but beware! Sometimes it was good to think first before you speak up because you couldn't take your words back. Whatever done is done. 

Enjoy your school life as much as you could do. You'll meet your best friends and also made lots of friends. 

You will also go through a phase that you couldn't imagine that will test your friendship with your best friends. You will be there for your bestie, through thick and thin. Please be there for your bestfriend because she needed it the most. 

And if people call you a nerd, just admit it. You were a nerd person ^_^

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

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