Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Reading in a moving vehicle

I can't read in a moving vehicle, like in a car or bus. Train and plane I can barely survive. But if it is a car or bus, I am better off without books (either is a physical book or even e-book). Even after a millisecond of reading I will definitely get nauseated and dizzy. Worst come to worst, I will end up with vomiting, which is something that I don't really like if I am going for a long journey. 

Somehow I do envy those who can read in a moving vehicle. Seriously! While in the other hand, I am better dozed off along the entire journey or I just plugged in myself with my mp3 player and get away in my own magical world.

Do you feel the same as I am? Or am I the only one with this problem? 

“The problem with reading in the car is that your vision is fixed on an object that is not moving, but your body and inner ear perceive motion, so it can induce vertigo in some. 
The best cure is to regularly look up, and regain your visual perspective of motion, but even then, the action of focusing on the book while your body feels motion can briefly induce vertigo.” 
-Dr Stewart. 
click here to read more

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Failure

I woke up this morning and then I checked my Twitter. A friend of mine said that the result for our last posting were out. I was nervous and shivered down my spine. The cold and fresh air of morning breeze plus the palpitation that I had were not a really good combination. I opened my laptop and log in through the e-klas. 

Medicine 
Grade: F
Description: Fail


I was stunned. I felt that the clock was stopped ticking that moment. I couldn't say anything. Yet, I didn't feel anything. Sad? Angry? I didn't know. My heart was hardened. Like a rock. 

I didn't cry. Well, I tried to but I knew it was just a fake because I did not feel any guilty, sad or disappointed. 


Why was I like this? Was it normal? Was this one of the stages of grief? 

I knew from the beginning that medicine wasn't my forte yet I was so arrogant. I did not pull much effort. I was a very pompous person who thought that I could kill it at the last minute. Hell, no! Medicine won't work that way.

Plus, my heart has darkened. Yeah, my soul was dark. Full of sins. Maybe that's why I hardly understand what I learnt? Maybe because my relationship with The Almighty wasn't good enough? 

I took a step back and reflected myself. What had gone wrong? 

----
Note: I wrote this post on 4th June 2016, the day I got my result for Medicine posting. I decided not to publish it and kept it for a while in my draft box because I did not want my friends to know about it. But the truth is, I was actually ashamed of myself. If one asked me is it hurt? Hell, yes. 

And if you are wondering, why am I putting this up now? Well I guess that sometime you need to open up a little bit, so that you won't suffered much because of the things you choose to keep inside by your own.



without wax,
haniyahaya

Rukun Negara

Semalam bersembang dengan cikgu Bahasa Mandarin aku tentang SPA (sebab dia pun medical graduate macam aku juga yang tengah menunggu panggilan). Entah macam mana boleh masuk bab rukun negara. 

Bercakap pasal rukun negara ni aku ada satu pengalaman menarik tentang rukun negara. Dulu masa aku darjah satu, cikgu Bahasa Inggeris aku sangat garang. Kami panggil beliau Miss H. Beliau memang tegas orangnya, ditambahi pula dengan suaranya yang kuat. Memang tiada pelajar yang berani menentang atau tidur di dalam kelasnya. 

Aku masih ingat, hari pertama persekolahan sewaktu darjah satu, beliau telah masuk ke kelas aku, 1 Bakawali. Biasalah, hari pertama sekolah mana ada belajar sangat. Sesi ice-breaking je la. Dipendekkan cerita, Miss H masuk ke kelas aku pada waktu akhir (so dah nak balik). Masa tu beliau suruh kami semua senyap. Memang sunyi sepi kelas. Nyamuk terbang pun boleh dengar. Nak dijadikan cerita, masa tu memang ramai ibu-bapa sedang menunggu anak mereka di luar kelas. Biasalah, nak tengok anak masing-masingkan. Tiba-tiba, aku nampak ibu aku berada di luar kelas aku lantas aku berteriak kecil memanggil, "ibu!". Pada masa itu aku memang terlupa akan arahan Miss H yang menyuruh kami senyap. 

Miss H seraya itu terus menjegilkan matanya ke arahku lalu berkata dengan nada tegas,"diam!". Malu aku tatkala itu bukan kepalang. Malu kerana telah dimarahi guru. Lebih malu lagi bila aku menjadi orang pertama yang dimarahi guru dalam kelas itu. Namun demikian, aku tak menaruh dendam padanya. 

Ok, berbalik semula kepada cerita tentang rukun negara tadi. Pada suatu hari, Miss H telah memberi satu tugasan kepada kami. Tugasannya ialah: menghafal Rukun Negara dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Esok setiap orang dikehendaki membacanya tanpa melihat teks di hadapan kelas! Gulp! Kalau dalam Bahasa Melayu boleh tahan lagi, sebab selalu baca dekat belakang buku rampaian tu kan. Tapi ni Bahasa Inggeris. This is insane! Para pelajar lain termasuk aku akur sahaja dengan arahan Miss H. Pulang sahaja ke rumah, aku menangis di hadapan ibuku sebab takut tak boleh hafal. Ibuku membantu aku untuk menghafal. 

Pagi keesokkan harinya, terkumat-kamit mulutku menghafal. Nak belajar kat sekolah agama pun tak tenang, apatah lagi nak makan. Tak senang hidup aku dibuatnya. Aku tak bertanya kepada kawan-kawan aku yang lain, sebab aku takut kalau-kalau aku seorang sahaja yang tak hafal dengan lancar. Masuk sahaja waktu Bahasa Inggeris, aku sudah kecut perut. Aku hanya mampu berdoa supaya mood Miss H baik dan aku mampu mengingati semuanya jikalau Miss H memetik nama aku untuk ke hadapan kelas. 

Miss H kemudiannya bertanya kepada seluruh kelas, siapa yang sudah menghafal rukun negara tersebut. Aku mengangkat sebelah tanganku ke udara. Tanpa aku sedari, aku seorang sahaja yang berbuat demikian. Miss H kemudiannya menyuruh aku ke hadapan kelas dan membaca rukun negara tersebut. Alhamdulillah, aku berjaya membaca dengan lancar. Sangkaan aku ianya akan berhenti pada takat itu sahaja. Namun, sangkaanku meleset. Miss H kemudiannya menyuruh aku mengetuai bacaan rukun negara tersebut pada perhimpunan petang itu. Jantung aku seakan-akan mahu gugur pada waktu itu! 

Sumber: Google.com

Untuk pengetahuan semua, aku mempunyai 'stage-fright' yang amat tinggi. (P/s: Stage fright or performance anxiety is the anxiety, fear, or persistent phobia which may be aroused in an individual by the requirement to perform in front of an audience, whether actually or potentially (for example, when performing before a camera --Wiki). Memang zaman sekolah dulu kalau kena pengucapan awam, even kena bercakap depan kelas tu memang tak keruan aku dibuatnya. Kalau duduk dengan member macam tu suara mengalahkan orang pegang mikrofon gitu. Hahaha. Akhirnya, aku dapat juga mengetuai bacaan rukun negara tersebut dengan jayanya. Tak tahulah suara aku dengar sampai belakang atau tak. Aku rasa macam suara aku tenggelam timbul, sayup-sayup dipuput bayu je. Haish.. horror sungguh time tu. Nasib baik lah sekali tu je aku kena. Kalau dibuatnya tiap-tiap kali perhimpunan kena, memang aku mogok untuk tak datang perhimpunan la gamaknya.

Oh sebelum itu, masa darjah 1, aku bersekolah pada sesi petang bersama dengan pelajar darjah 2. So selalunya yang akan baca rukun negara (dalam BI), ikrar sekolah semua tu selalunya pelajar darjah 2 sebab mereka lebih tua (senior). Tambahan pula  ada pengawas kantin (comel kan nama dia?) dalam kalangan mereka. Kira ni dah macam langkah senior la ni. Bila nama aku dipanggil untuk mengetuai bacaan Rukun Negara, memang mata aku hanya tertumpu ke lantai. Langsung tidak mendongak untuk memandang wajah rakan-rakanku di lain. 

Tulah kenangan masa darjah satu aku dulu. Seronok betul masa tu. Pergi sekolah, main dengan kawan.. Sekarang semua orang dah besar dah. Masing-masing membawa haluan sendiri.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Professional III Exam

First of all, for those who don't know, Professional III Exam (Pro III) is the most crucial and important exam along my journey as a medical student. This exam will be an indicator whether you can be a doctor or you need to repeat it again (which obviously will be time consuming as it will be held for another 6 months!).

Source: Google.com
Back to the story, for this Pro III, there will be clinical, theory and osce parts. But most of the time, clinical part is the most important part of all. Why? Because it is stand alone, and if you fail that, you will be straight away fail the exam; no matter how good you are in theory/osce. 

Theory
For theory we have:

i) MCQ - 60 questions for medical-based postings (Medicine, Paediatrics, Emergency Medicine, Primary Care, Psychiatry and Community Medicine) & 60 questions from surgical-based postings (Surgery, O&G, Orthopaedics, ENT, Ophthalmology, Radiology, Anaesthesiology and Forensic Medicine)

ii) MEQ  - 2 questions from medical-based postings (Medicine & Paeds), 2 questions from surgical-based postings (Surgery & O&G)

iii) SEQ - 2 questions from medical-based postings (Emergency Medicine & Primary Care), 2 questions from surgical-based postings (Ortho & Forensic)

OSCE

We have 20 stations from different postings (from both fields; medical & surgical). 
18 were writing stations whereas another 2 were performing stations. Those stations that we needed to perform were from Primary Care (breaking the bad news and counselling) and Surgery (thyroid examination). 

Clinical
As for the clinical, there are 2 parts which are:

a) 1 long case
b) 3 short cases.

Long case

For the long case, the candidate will be given a patient to clerk and examine thoroughly within 1 hour. You need to get the history of the patient,do the complete physical examinations, give the provisional diagnosis, rule out the other differential diagnosis and lay out the proper management (including investigations and treatment). As for long case, it will be from the 4 major postings; 

i) Medical-based: Medicine or Paediatrics
ii) Surgical-based: Surgery or O&G

But here's the catch! You will never know which posting you will get until the moment your name is called. So you need to come prepared as you have 25% chances of getting each of these 4 postings that you would be never know. It depends on luck too. Some people might prefer medical-based, but some prefer the other. I personally preferred Surgical based for my long case because I feel comfortable with it, but Allah knows best. I got Paediatrics for my long case. Alhamdulillah, the case wasn't that difficult. I got a case of Simple Febrile Seizure. I was lucky that I didn't get the harder cases. My examiners also was nice and kind too. I had 1 external examiner (a lady Paediatrician) and 1 internal examiner (Dr M). I managed to answer most of the questions, even though there's some part that I must say that I couldn't answer it. But I was happy for what I've done. I'd given my best shot and put all my trusts to Allah so that He could decide what's best for me. 

Short cases

So since I got medical-based case for my long case, I got 1 short case from medical-based + 2 short cases from surgical-based. 

If you got surgical-based case for your long case, you will get 1 short case from surgical based + 2 short cases from medical-based.

But in short cases, the medical and surgical-based postings include all the postings that we have learnt in Year 4 & 5.

So that includes:

i) Medical-based: Medicine, Paediatrics, Emergency Medicine, Psychiatry
ii) Surgical-based: Surgery, O&G, ENT, Ophthalmology, Orthopaedics

For short cases, you will be given 10 minutes for each station. 7 minutes for pyhsical examination and 3 minutes for Q&A session.
As for my short cases, I got Surgery, Psychiatry and also O&G.

My first station was Surgery. It was a case of right indirect irreducible inguinal hernia. I wasn't prepared much as I couldn't estimate how long/short the 7 minutes was. Plus, I was so nervous at that time and I couldn't examine the patient properly. As for the Q&A, I just answered what's the first thing that came across my mind. Hahaha.

The second station was a little bit relaxed. It was Psychiatry. My wish came true! Because a night before, I really wished that i got Psychiatry or Emergency Medicine for my short case. I didn't want to have Medicine (because of my bad history with it..that I will tell you later). So for Psychiatry, I got a case on OCD. Jyeaah! OCD baby! Fun fact-- I had never clerk a case on OCD during my Psychiatry posting in my 4th year (well, I meant..a proper history, MSE all that stuff)! For this station, I was asked by the examiners to take the history and perform the MSE. Guess what? I finished them all so fast and I even had few more minutes left. I told the examiner that I had finished and she told me that I still got enough time. Since I didn't know what to ask more, I just ask some other things that were not really important. Alhamdulillah, the Q&A session went smoothly and I managed to answer all the questions given.

My last station was O&G. I loved O&G. The moment I stepped into the room, the external examiner asked me how am I doing? He also ask me to relax and take a deep breath before I started. Seriously, the way he convinced me to relax and all that stuffs made me calm for awhile and I felt that I want to give my best. The case I got was Fibroid. The patient was cooperative and nice and both external and internal examiner were super kind and nice! There's even one MO lady who cheered up for me the moment I managed to answer all the questions correctly. She was my hero! And guess what? I managed to finish 3 minutes earlier than the allocated time. The time keeper and the doctor who was being the runner were very shocked when I stepped out from the room while everybody else were still finishing their exam. They even gave me that kind of weird face. Hahaha.

I must say that my theory and osce parts weren't that good. I screwed up most of the time, especially on my mcq and osce papers. God knows how much I felt when I finished my osce paper. It was horrible. I kept thinking, am doing okay? Am I going to fail? All these things kept on running through my head for weeks. And I also wished my examiner wouldn't suffered from cardiac arrest while they were marking my paper >.<

Completion of Studies letter

Alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah. I managed to survive and passed my Pro III exams. I would like to thank to my parents who had given me endless supports and sacrificed so much for me, not too forget countless du'a and prayers too. Big thanks to all my teachers, lecturers, doctors, specialists, consultants and all the hospital staffs that had taught me so much. Thank you to all my friends too for being with me throughout this journey. Your warm wishes, fruitful advice, countless support and teachings meant so much to me and I could never ever forget that. 

Can you believe it? Five years ago, I still remembered that I walked anxiously for the first time into the lecture theatre. It was Anatomy class and I still remembered that Dr M was teaching us about fertilization. I felt so disappointed of myself because I found that it was so hard, plus I couldn't adapt to the environment yet. We were the juniors at that time, just like those babies who were still trying to learn and take their first walk. Now, those same five years later, I was going to leave the medical school behind to a whole new world, and again I felt as anxious and nervous as I arrived for the first time. 

It has been a long five years and a short for years. Long because of all the classes, seminars, tutorials, bed side teachings, case presentations, ward work and on-calls. Short because of the lifelong friendships, the lasting memories, and the truly interesting and amazing things that I had learned along this journey. 

Sincerely, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you all.
without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Coretan pagi 30 Ramadhan

Dalam kita sedang sibuk membuat persiapan untuk menyambut hari raya, pagi ini penduduk di kawasan perumahan kami menerima satu berita yang mengejutkan. Usai kami bersahur, kami menerima berita bahawa salah seorang jiran kami telah pergi menemui Ilahi pada pagi tadi. Allahyarhamah yang menghidapi kanser usus telah menghembuskan nafasnya di rumahnya sebelum subuh pagi tadi.  Selepas solat Subuh, ibu, ayah dan aku pergi ke rumah jiran kami untuk menziarahi keluarga Allahyarhamah.

Ya Allah! Wajah Allahyarhamah sangat tenang. Keluarga Allahyarhamah juga tenang dan redha menghadapi ketentuan Allah ini. 

Ketika ziarah tadi, ada seorang mak cik (jiran kami) menyuruh salah seorang dari kami untuk mengikat dagu Allahyarhamah supaya dagunya tidak jatuh. Ibuku menyuruh aku berbuat demikian. 

Jujur aku katakan, aku memang pernah pergi kursus pengurusan jenazah. Namun hakikatnya belajar dan praktikal di alam realiti sangatlah berbeza. Membuatkan aku sedar, aku tak banyak pergi menziarahi orang yang meninggal dunia, apatah lagi menguruskannya. Boleh dikira dengan jari. 

Tatkala aku berbuat demikian, terdetik di hati aku, kalau aku pula yang mati nanti, siapa yang akan menguruskan jenazah aku? Nak fikir, siapa yang nak mandikan, nak kafankan, nak solatkan? 

Dari segi persediaan memang jauh ketinggalan. Ada orang sudah bersiap sedia dengan kain batik lepas, tuala malah kain kafan! Allah!

Memang benar, kita digalakkan untuk menziarahi orang yang meninggal dunia supaya diri kita ingat akan mati. Mati ini tidak mengenal usia. Bila-bila sahaja kita boleh dijemput menemui Ilahi. 

Aku tiba-tiba teringat, masa zaman aku belajar di MRSM dahulu, maktab kami selalu mengadakan solat jenazah ghaib jikalau ada kematian. Maka, segala bacaan dalam solat jenazah memang aku ingat, bukanlah hanya semata-mata untuk pass PAFA sahaja. Namun kini, aku rasa aku sudah lupa akan semua itu. Masya-Allah. Betapa teruknya aku. Ilmu tanpa amal. 

Apa pun, didoakan semoga Allahyarhamah diampunkan dosa dan ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang yang beriman. 

Al-Fatihah.
Source: Google.com

without wax,
haniyahaya

Friday, June 17, 2016

A story of Ramadhan

Yesterday, my group had a bed-site teaching and it was my turn to present a case. I came early that morning and Alhamdulillah, I finally managed to clerk a thyroid case. The patient was a very nice and cooperative Chinese lady. After presenting my case, it was the time for physical examination.

Since the patient came with a neck swelling, I needed to perform a physical examination that need to rule out the causes of all neck swelling thus include thyroid. In thyroid examination, one of the tests that we need to perform is whether the swelling moves with swallowing or not. It was a simple test. What we need to do is ask the patient to drink a sip of water, hold it and the moment you ask the patient to swallow, you need to watch whether the swelling moves or not. Usually in thyroid case, it will move with swallowing.

Hence, I asked the patient to do the same. But what touched my heart was that she did appologize that she had to drink in front of us since it was Ramadhan. We said that it was fine but it really touched me because she really respected us who was fasting and even asked the permission from us to drink. On top of that, when I was writing my case on the cardiac table in front of her bed, she even went outside to eat her breakfast. I was very suprised. 

I didn't expect her to do that. I mean, well the patient was sick and it was okay if she wanted to eat in front of me. I really didn't mind that. But she did something that really touched me. 

Dear madam, I knew that you won't read this but I prayed for health and speedy recovery from your operation. God bless you :)

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Of incision and drainage

So today I decided to spend my evening at the procedure room in Emergency Department (ED) since I had no classes in the evening. 

Frankly speaking, I loved to spend my time there because there were a lot of hands-on procedures that I could observe, assist and perform. Maybe that's why I wanted to become an ED Physician one day, insyaAllah. 

Back to story. I was in the procedure room today and a lady came in with right gluteal abscess. After took the history, did physical exam and  being assessed by the doctor, the patient needed to go to the Incision & Drainage (I&D) procedure for her problem. So there was the medical assistant (MA) and me. Since the MA was a gentleman, I had to be there to be his chaperone and of course, to assist him a little bit here and there. 

Upon further questioning with her, she claimed that she had suffered from the abscess for almost a week. The moment when the swelling was incised, there was yellowish pus coming out with foul-smelling discharge. The amount was approximately 50-80ml (Ah, I was so bad at this!). The smell was so bad like a corpse and we (the MA and I) almost puked ourselves. We even felt so dizzy after the procedure ended. Gosh, it was horrendously disturbing. 

I'm not saying anything bad about the patient. Well, you didn't know how much she had suffered from it. But the thing is, it reminds me of how we are going to be like when we are dead. 

Yes, we are all going to die; no one exceptional. I wonder how we are going to be like when we are died. Are we going to be like a rotten, decaying corpse like nobody's going to concern about you? Or are we going to be the one who will be remembered by all and people will pray for you? 

Let's just think back and reflect ourselves. 

What are we living for? 
Have you satisfy enough with your life right now? 



without wax,
haniyahaya :)

P/s: Even after came back home, the smell was still haunting me. Oh dear! >.<

Monday, June 6, 2016

Cry

Ever since I was a teenager, I always thought that crying is only for weaklings. Boy, I was so wrong!

Well, I don't know why I think that way. I've always wanted to be seen as a strong person, hence this cry thingy is totally not for me and out of my league. 

But hey, who think that way? I once read that when you cry, half of your burden will be vanished away. It elevates your mood and lowers down your stress level.It lets the devils out. That is how powerful cry is. 

On top of that, I hate if people see me crying. Of course it is embarassing but I just don't like if people see my weakness.  Get what I mean?  

But today, something happened. I cried today. I didn't how it happen but I just did. I never thought that I would be burst into tears but I just couldn't hold it back. And guess what? I'd became more relaxed right now. (Plus with the fruitful advices and kind words and also a warm hug!) 

Yeah, last weekend was such a tumultuous ride for me. I felt like I was lost. My whole life was dark. So did my mind, heart and soul. I felt empty. 

Alhamdulillah, Allah did answer my prayers and I was very grateful for that. I hoped that this sorrow and misery would go away. Be gone and never come back.



"All these feelings need to be felt. 
We need to stomp and storm;
 to sob and cry; 
to perspire and tremble.”

without wax, 
haniyahaya :)

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Will I survive without ...

Today, I decided to take a break off from the social media. I decided to deactivate my Twitter account which I think the biggest distraction ever in my life. I initially wanted to deactivate my Instagram account too but I decided to keep it away. I even delete the Youtube application in my iPhone too (so that I won't be wasting much time there. You should know how much I spent my time in Youtube!)
The reason why I needed to take a break off was plain and simple. I needed to limit the time that I spent in social media. For those out there who might knew me, I was the worst person when it comes to social media. I could spend hours and hours at there. Well, you can say that I was a hardcore social media users. 

So with Twitter was off the limit, I wished that I could write more in this blog. Well, not many people really read my blog anyway, so I guessed it was better this way. Plus, I've been abandoned this blog and I kinda missed writing. Writing is my passion. 

Wish me luck guys! I hope I could survive! 

without wax, 
haniyahaya :)

Fall

Sometimes you need to fall down so that it will make you stronger.

I need to pull up my strength to fight this battle.

Maybe it is a sign for me to become closer to Him.

It is a sign for me that sometimes you need to look down.

It is a sign for me that life is not always bed of roses.


Hopefully I can grow stronger.

There's not much time left. 


Thursday, May 19, 2016

Helpless

I don't know why but I feel so helpless. I'm a final year medical student, and will be finishing my med school in a few months, but yet I feel so stupid. I feel like there are lots of things that I didn't know. I could do proper examinations, my knowledge is very poor compared to others and my skills are not that good. Am I going to be a competent doctor? How am I going to survive this journey? 

And you know what suck more?
You couldn't help much. 
You couldn't do much to your patient.
And the worst of all

You couldn't do much to help your family who are indeed.

Am I too late for this?




without wax,
haniyahaya 

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Happy 23th Birthday, Hani!

So today I have turned 23. People might say that age is just a number but to me, it is more than that. First and foremost, Alhamdulillah for all His blessings and love, I could live again in this world. Even though I have did so many wrongdoings but He still give me a chance to repent again. This is one of the countless blessings that He give me. 

Thank you to both of my parents because without you guys, I would never be here. I hardly show my affection/appreciation towards them because trust me, I'm really suck at that. But both of you are never been forgotten in my du'a. 

I hope that I could do better, be wiser and achieve more for this year ahead!

And last but not least, thank you for your warm wishes and kind thoughts/prayers. They were really made my day! May Allah bless you :)

My birthday cake for this year.
Forgive me for the wrong dates.
The baker was in rush but it was fine with me since it was delicious!

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Monday, April 11, 2016

A trip to Pulau Perhentian

So last holiday, my friends and I had went to Pulau Perhentian. There were 3 of us. We went there by bus. This was my first time went to Terengganu by bus. Before this I just went there by my college's van. (yeah, I went to Terengganu for the first time ever because of the inter-mrsm programme back in 2007). We took a bus from Kajang at 9:00 pm and arrived Kuala Besut around 5:20 am in the morning. We decided to go to the nearest surau there before we departed to the island. 

To go to the island, one must took a boat ride from the jetty. For a tourist; local or foreigner, you'll need to pay RM5 for the marine park fee before you take the boat ride and enter the island. You just need to pay once at the jetty. 

The moment when Mr Ismail, the one who I dealt with regarding our accomodation, packages etc told me via  the phone call about this marine park thingy, I was stunned. I was like.. What the heck was 'merempat'? 

Mr Ismail : Nanti cik jumpa kaunter 'merempat' pastu bayar RM5. Ok? *in Terengganu slang*

Me: Apasal sedih benor nama dia merempat? (Dalam hati)

Then when we asked the people around there where was this 'kaunter merempat', we then realized it was meant to be 'Marine Park'. Lol ^__^

Marine Park = Merempat

Danggggg!! 

Got what I mean? *smirk*

So after we arrived on the island, we couldn't check in yet to our room, hence we decided to go to the famous Windmill  at Long Beach. We went there by a boat taxi (needed to pay RM20/pax).

When we arrived there, we thought that there would be a fleet of stairs for us to go up to the windmill (based on people's blogs etc) but we couldn't find any! Hence we just followed the trekking trail. It was tiresome but the moment we reached on the top of the hill (near the windmill), all of sweats and struggles that we'd been through were paid off. Subhanallah. The view was panoramic and breath-taking. I just wished that I could stay there forever (heh, in your dream Hani!). 

View from the windmill above the hill
Looks like Maldives right?

The iconic windmill

Look at the crystal-clear water!

And here's another picture from the top

After took several pictures and enjoying the breath-taking and scenic scenery, we went back to have our lunch. I booked the packages that came together with meal because it was much more convenience for us as we won't be wondering around, thinking about what to eat and where to eat. And I swear, the food provided were delicious and yummy! :) 

On the second day, we went to snorkeling at 10 am (we were a little bit late for that actually because we thought it was supposed to be at 10.30 am). I was so excited because this was my second time of snorkeling. The last time I did when I was 15 at that time. We were then been given all the equipment needed for snorkeling; life jackets and snorkel (the thing that we used so that we could keep our head in the water and breathe at the same time). We were being informed that there will be 5 checkpoints for us.

1. Tiga ruang
2. Turtle point
3. Shark point
4. Lighthouse
5. Romantic beach

The moment when we arrived at the first check point, the inner child of me just couldn't contain it anymore. I felt like I wanted to jump into the sea immediately. Ever since I was little, I loved being in the water (either it is swimming in a swimming pool/river/beach). It was just overwhelming. It was hard to describe how it feels to what was happening under the water - it was like you have entered and explored an unknown world. I enjoyed watching all the different kinds of fish (the clown fish were totally cute and adorable!), reefs, corals and all the other marines life. I still remembered that I managed to see the turtle, baby shark and ray. I even got a chance to touch the corals and sea cucumber. The sea cucumber that I'd touched was pink in colour and of course, it was slimy and soft on touch. That night, we had a BBQ dinner and slept with smile :) 

Here I am, during the snorkelling


The next day, after having our breakfast, we checked out from our room and headed to jetty. Since we had enough time to be wasted, we decided to go to buy some keropok lekor and keropok losong. I didn't buy much since my family wasn't really fond of them. I just bought some souvenirs for them. 

So that's all for my trip this time.

View from the jetty

The beach

View from the boat during our journey to the island

Here's the package that I took for this trip: http://perhentiansealifeinn.com/tour/3d2n-free-eazy-snorkeling-package/

It offers a great deal of promotion up till this November. So, what are you waiting for? Go pack your things and enjoy!

Till then.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)


Sunday, March 13, 2016

Wedding


This week I had received 3 wedding invitations since it was school holiday season. But of course I couldn't attend all of them. I just managed to attend 2 of them. One was Nica's solemnization. I couldn't attend her reception because I needed to attend AJ's event. 

It felt so great to watch your friends got married. I meant, look at them now. They were all grown up (as if like I hadn't grown up). 

It also fun to catch up with all your friends that you hadn't seen for ages! Everyone had choose their own paths and had a lot to tell. It felt so amazing when you saw all your friends that you hadn't met for almost 8 freaking years! :D

And I learnt so many things from them. I loved when it came to some discussions where we changed opinions because you could learnt from other's perspectives too. 

Being part of Batch 14 of Gerik MJSC taught me a lot and I felt so grateful to be there once. 

Mini reunion of Batch 14 of Gerik MJSC
Photo courtesy: Atirah 

From left: Dzul, AJ, Jiha & me
Oh, please don't get me wrong. Dzul and I were classmates back then in Gerik when we were Form 2. And to take picture with the bride & groom was very hard because they were so many people wanted to take pictures with them (and we even needed to take turn). And when I got the chance, I just took it. Kira macam aci redah je la amik gambar. Sape yang available pakai main masuk je. Dah la panas terik masa tu. I was drenching in sweat! (Euww.. Hiperbola gila ayat) So yeah, that was a decent picture of me on that day.

Congratulations to AJ & wife, Nica & husband for you marriage! May Allah bless you! :)

Thank you so much to all my friends too. I did enjoy my day yesterday and I felt blessed to meet you guys even though for a short period of time. Till we meet again next time!

p/s: Who's turn next?

without wax,
haniyahaya :)



Sunday, March 6, 2016

Tukang komen

Kadang-kadang bila bersama ni bagus sebab banyak idea yang akan timbul bila sesi berdiskusi. Tapi, bila terlalu banyak idea, akan timbul satu masalah, mana satu idea yang nak dipilih. Lagi bertambah perit bilamana ada orang-orang yang pasif ada dalam sesi diskusi tersebut.

Kau bagi idea 1 - 1000, ada sahaja 1001 benda yang akan dibidasnya.

" Tak boleh la buat macam ni. Nanti kang.."

" Kalau buat macam ni, takkan berjaya.."

Komen sahaja tanpa apa-apa tindakan tak guna. Cuba bagi idea yang bernas. Ini tak, tahu memangkah sahaja, namun hasilnya tiada. 

Itu kadang-kadang aku rasa lebih selesa buat kerja sendirian sebab aku bebas memilih. 

Kalau setakat jadi tukang komen, aku pun boleh buat.

without wax,
haniyahaya

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Post EOP exam

So last week, we had sit for our EOP exam for Orthopaedic and Emergency Medicine postings. Yeah, 2 postings in one go. I hardly able to breathe during these two postings.

Let me started with Emergency Medicine (EM) first because my first clinical exam was EM. So I got a case of Acute Coronary Syndrome (ACS). The examiner told me to take a short history and then present the case to him. I thought it was a short case where we didn't need to take the history and all that, but unfortunately I did have to! (The rest of my friends didn't have to,only some of us). Different examiners had their own styles, so yeah. Then, he asked me to do CVS examination, interpret the ECG and discuss about the management. For viva, I got a pneumothorax case. Well, it was a Q&A session. I had done my very best so I leave the rest to the Almighty Allah to decide.

The next day was clinical exam for Ortho. As I mentioned before, Ortho wasn't really my forte. I didn't know why but it seemed like we didn't have much connection. For my short case, I got a fracture case at the midshaft of the femur and swelling of the knee. Towards the end of my short case exam, I hardly gave my provisional diagnosis. I was stunned and mute. I completely forgot about osteomyelitis (OM)! (Yes, it was OM case actually). I could only sighed and walked away, waiting patiently for my turn for viva. As for the viva, I felt like I was decapitated. I felt so bad. The question that I got was about brachial plexus injury but I didn't study much about it, hence, I had the instinct that I was going to fail terribly. Even the examiner asked me, "Did you go to the class?" "Oh, yes! Definitely! I even sit in the front row of the class." But, poor thing. I felt that I wanted to buried myself to the ground.

And as for theory, let's be honest. I suck. For both of them (especially Osce for Ortho & EM). Nevertheless, I prayed that I could pass both of these posting. I didn't want to repeat them :(

without wax,
haniyahaya :)


Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Wedding season

This month I had received so many wedding invitations from my friends. Just only last week, I had received two wedding invitations in a day! Say what?!! Hahaha. 
One was from my ex-high school classmate back then when I was in MRSM TGB. She will be the first one from our class who will be off from the market. Oh yeah! 

The other one was my ex- high school classmate back then when I was in MRSM Gerik, and he also used to study in TGB too. He will be the first one in our batch (MRSM Gerik) who will be getting married. 

And just now, I just received a text from my childhood best friend that she was just engaged and will be married soon. I was completely mesmerized. 

Source: Google.com


Well, one used to said that, after you passed the legal age to vote (here in Malaysia), you will:

1. received a lot of wedding invitations of your friends

2. be asked," when is your turn?" (read: when will you get married?)

As a matter of fact, I liked if I received no. 1 (refer to the statement above). But all the happiness and joy will be shattered into tiny pieces in a millisecond of time if you were being asked question no.2. *deep sigh*

Well, you know what, I'm not a witch nor fortune teller, where I could easily predict and tell how's my fortune will be. *flipped table*

I don't think that I will be getting married soon. Well, I have lots of things that I needed to take care of. Besides, I am still a student who are struggling very hard (exaggerated as always) to survive in medical school. I still needed to repay my parents for what they have done to me. As the eldest child in a family, I have a huge responsibility behind my back. 

Anyway, for all my friends who are getting married, I pray that Allah will grant you barakah (blessings) and descend His blessings on both of you and keep you united. Insha-Allah :)

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

p/s: I love weddings. Don't get me wrong, okay? Peace!

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Basic Life Support (BLS) Course

Yesterday, I just attended the Basic Life Support (BLS) course for a day. It is compulsory for us in this posting to attend this course so that we were well-trained, so if there's any life-threatening emergencies, we can provide some help in a safe, timely and effective manner. Well, it is not necessary only those from the healthcare professionals to learn it, but I think everyone of us should learn it too; whether you have the medical background or not because we can save more lives. You will never know what you'll encounter in the future, hence you need to be prepared if you encounter such things. 

Source: Google.com
What we learnt from this course were about CPR, airway management, how to use AED, how to relieve choking in adults and paediatrics (infant and children) and many more. There were few slots in this programme. The first slot was like a briefing or some sort of like that. We've been given like the summary of what BLS was all about. Then, we had the practical sessions where we needed to practice on our skill on airway management and CPR. 

Simplified Adult BLS.
Source: American Heart Association
After that, we had the exam! Of course this was the scariest part of all! There were 2 exams; theory and practical. The theory comprised of 30 MCQs; we needed to choose one best answer. The passing mark was 26/30. So we were only been allowed to get at least 4 incorrect answers. Alhamdulillah, I managed to score 28/30. Well, I never aimed to get the full marks. I was just hoping that I could pass so I wouldn't need to repeat this thing again.

Next, we had the practical part. We need to perform CPR and airway management based on the scenarios given. On CPR station, I was being given a scenario of a 60 year old gentleman who was found unconscious at the car park. Alhamdulillah,it was good. I meant, I didn't have any trouble upon performing the CPR. Next station was airway management. Since I was among the last person to go to the station, hence the examiner didn't ask much. Alhamdulillah..Overall, I could answer all her questions.

Alhamdulillah, all of us managed to pass the BLS course (no need to repeat!yeay!).

That's all from me. I have sooooo many classes for tomorrow. 2 case presentations, 2 seminars, 2 tutorials and 1 bed-site teaching. Hopefully I will survive!

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Sunday, January 31, 2016

CPR

I am now in Emergency Medicine (EM) posting. Ever since I was a little kid, I had been always fascinated by the ER show *insert the theme song here* Yeah, I blamed my aunt who gave me such influence ever since I was a little and innocent kid. Hence, I always dream that I would be an EM Physician one day (I'm still considering it) and I've been always looking forward for this posting. And now, here I am.

ER Cast. I love Dr Greene (3rd from right) and Dr Carter (1st from right)
Source: Google.com

Honestly, in A&E department, things weren't like what the TV show had portrayed. It was different. Totally different. Mind you that it wasn't always patients came with V-tach and needed defibrillation. It wasn't always chaos all the time, with bloods everywhere, patients screaming of pain and the doctors running around here and there.

I always love to spend my time in Emergency Department (ED) even though I didn't usually spend most of my time there. But I just love the adrenaline rush and the vibes that ED always gave me whenever I went there. I liked to be in the procedure room in the green zone where I could observe, assist and even did the minor procedures like do the blood taking, dressing, suturing (T&S), opening the sutures, limb immobilization like applying the splint and many more. I love suturing. Although I wasn't that good like some of my friends but I just love to stitch and suture. Oh, please don't judge me in a creepy way :)

Nevertheless, last week had gave me so many remarkable and amazing memories that I could never forget in my entire life. 

I was in red zone that day. At first, it was calm. The patients was not as many as in the other zones (yellow, green, blue and CARRS). But then, one by one started to come. There were so many procedures and interesting cases that I could observe and learn on that day. I did offer to give a help to some of them; like applying the nasogastric tube, intubation (basically I just hold the ambu bag, lol), exposing the patient, transferring the patient, fill in the blood forms etc. But the best part was, I was able to perform the CPR for the first time on a real patient. Yes, CPR! CPR is actually one of the procedures in our curriculum that required us to perform. Perform, not observed nor assist! 

Source : Google
Mind you that I haven't go to Basic Life Support (BLS) course yet (BLS is a course where you will learn how to save people like how to do CPR, and if you encounter people with chocking, what will you do etc. You'll get a certificate for that). I was supposed to go on next week. What I knew about CPR was based on my knowledge 3 years ago when there was Anaesthesia Day in my university where the anaesthesiologists had taught us about CPR and stuffs. At first I was afraid. What if I did was wrong? There were the specialists, registrars, MOs and nurses around and I was a medical student who her knowledge on CPR was quite rusty and hadn't perform a real CPR (except on the mannequin, but heck..does it even count?). But I just did anyway. Well, it was time I grabbed this chance. Not to forget with the adrenaline rush that pumped through my veins, the sweats. Only Allah know how I felt at that time. Luckily the specialist, MOs and nurses were so supportive. They gave us (medical students) chances to perform CPR. 

In the end, we couldn't save the patient despite of all the efforts that we'd pulled through. RIP dear uncle. 

Anyway, I did enjoy EM posting so far. I'm looking forward to learn more and improve my skills. Honestly, I have so many things that I'm lacking of; knowledge, skills and the list goes on and on. And to tell you the truth, I have always this kind of inferiority complex that running through me whenever I'm with my friends. I just feel that I am not competent enough. 

Okay, that's all. Too much rambles tonight. Till then.

---
Dr. Mark Greene: Don't ever say you're sorry. See, there's two kinds of doctors... there's the kind that gets rid of their feelings, and the kind that keeps them. If you're gonna keep your feelings, you're gonna get sick from time to time - that's just how it works.

Dr. Mark Greene: People come in here and they're sick and dying and bleeding, and they need our help. Helping them is more important than how we feel. But it's still a pain the ass sometimes.

Here's the quote that I love the most from ER. It was the scene where Dr Carter (at that time was a medical student) had a mental breakdown and Dr Greene came to cheer him up and gave him an inspiring advice. Click here to watch the video.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)


Sunday, January 17, 2016

A trip to Korea - Part 2

Day 4: 26/12/2015

For the fourth day, we planned to go to Nami Island. I was very excited because as a big fan of Winter Sonata, I just couldn't help it :)

But what's more exciting was, it was snowing that night. The moment we wanted to step out from the hostel, we could see that all the pavements were covered up with snow. What a perfect day! We hoped that Nami Island would be snowy too. 



Snowy in Incheon
Before we went to Nami Island, we went to Deoksugung Palace because we wanted to try the hanbok at there (since we couldn't get a chance to try it at Busan). Well, actually there were other places that had offered a chance to try the hanbok, but some of it you would need to pay and some didn't. The famous one was in Myeongdong but I was informed that it was only opened during weekdays, not during the weekend. 

Hence, we went to the palace again and guessed what? We were the first who had come there. Semangat gila sebab hanbok punya pasal, even palace tu tak buka lagi kitorang dah terpacak kat sana. Sempat la aku tengok guards tu practice untuk changing of guards session. Masuk kali ni dah dekat 3 kali aku tengok changing of guards kat Korea ni. 

Session untuk try hanbok tu buka pukul 10:30 am. Nampak je orang yang handle hanbok tu datang, berlari kitorang kat dia. Padahal memang dah tahu, kitorang je yang ada masa tu untuk try hanbok. Semangat benor nak jadi yang pertama. Hahaha

Deoksugung Palace

With one of the guards. Cantik kan costume dorang?

Kalau kat tempat lain maybe takleh bergambar
dengan real guards while wearing hanbok.
Only in Deoksugung (perhaps)?
Gitu hah tagline.

Us, in front of the palace.
Ye, aku tau mata aku sepet -.-
After that, we went to Nami Island by train and bus. It was reported that the temperature at that time was 1°C but there was no snow. Walaupun macam tu aku still rasa sejuk dia sampai ke tulang. Pula tu buat langkah berani mati tak pakai long john. Bajet lah badan kebal. Ceh..

Gapyeong Station

Nami Island

Yang macam belon putih tu actually lampu.
Cantik bila dah gelap :)

Ice sculpture -- specially made in winter

Ramai orang bergambar dengan patung-patung macam ni.
As a proud Malaysian, mestilah bergambar dengan patung
yang ada ciri-ciri Malaysia!



Pho Bo - A Vietnamese beef noodle with the sweetness of broth, and fulled of herbs.
Reminded me of Vietnam. Kat Nami Island ni ada je restaurant yang halal :D

Masuk dalam library kanak-kanak. Seronok gila library dia!

Sebelah library tu restaurant halal.
Masuk dalam tu, tingkat 2 ada musolla.

Nak bergambar kat sini pun kena beratur.
Tapi rasanya semua tourist kat sini macam ada sense of that.
Tak yah cakap or kena ada papan tanda 'Sila beratur'.

The famous statue!

Punyalah mencari dari mana arah datang suara gong.
Rupanya orang dok main benda alah ni.


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
[Robert Frost - The Road Not Taken]

The view from the island

I tried to shrink myself so that I could occupy this small hut :)


Nak bergambar kat tempat first kiss winter sonata tu,
tapi ada pula shooting apa entah. Lama gila nak tunggu.
At last, I gave up.

Kalau nak ronda pulau ni dengan train pun boleh.
Nak naik basikal pun boleh. Duit je la


Then, we headed off to Insadong to buy some souvenirs. I didn't get a chance to go to Myeongdong and Namedaemun, but based on what I heard, if you wanted to buy souvenirs, you should try at there too. Insadong was good too. They offered you souvenirs like t-shirts, paperclips with Korea logo, a set of chopsticks and spoon, keychains etc. I didn't buy much (lepas tu balik Malaysia menyesal tahap apa, padahal duit banyak je lagi). Tapi yang paling rare sekali, aku pergi beli koleksi setem Korea tahun 90 an. Rare gila kan? Fateh siap kata lagi yang aku ni rare gila pergi beli setem. orang lain bercuti pergi beli keychain ke apa. Well, I'm an avid stamp and keychain collector. Biasa kalau travel, aku dengan mak aku akan beli setem or post card. Tapi kali ni aku tengok post card dia tak berapa lawa. Yelah jual tepi jalan, what do you expect? Lain la kalau aku pergi post office kan? 

Next, we went to Itaewon. Itaewon was famous because there were so many foreigners there. It was also famous for the one and only Central Mosque (correct me if I'm wrong). But to get through there, you would see that there were bars and clubs along the streets. Oh, speaking about the irony. And of course, you can find so many halal foods here. Guilty pleasure for Malaysian I guess :) 

Itaewon Central Mosque

After bought the take-away dinner at one of the Turkish restaurant, we went back to Incheon. Needed to pack up all my belongings because tomorrow, I'll be home :D

Day 5: 27/12/2015

Long story short, my flight was at 9:30 am. So I took the earliest train at 5:30 am to go to the airport. When we arrived there, we quickly perform our prayer at the breastfeeding room. I then rushed to check in. When I looked at my watch, I was like, oh no! 8:30 am and I didn't pass through the immigration counter yet. I was damn late. Please don't close the gate yet. I didn't get a chance to say good bye to Fateh properly as I was battling against time. The clock was ticking. After pass through the immigration counter, I ran off towards the gate and waited for the train. Yeah, we needed to ride a train to go for the other side of the airport, and there, my plane awaited. I pushed myself off the limits. I thought that if the gate was closed, how the heck am I going back to Malaysia? And how am I going to the class tomorrow? Oh God! But thankfully, I barely managed to arrive in front of the gate 5 minutes earlier. Phew! I felt like I was in the middle of the Amazing Race programme. Lol. 

Alhamdulillah, I was safely arrived in Malaysia around 4 pm and I missed Korea already. Indeed it gave me a lot of good and joyful memories that I could't forget :)

without wax,
haniyahaya :)