Monday, October 26, 2015

Book excerpts 1

Saying sorry is in my DNA. Part of my birthright, you might say. I am Asian, therefore I apologise. Sorry, but there it is. 

Okay, full stop.

These were excerpts taken from 'Sorry: The Hardest Word and How to Use It' by Max Davidson. I found the book was amusing and made me think about the art of apologizing. I shared it with you so that you could have a look and try to read the book. And maybe we could discuss it together? :)

1. For if one never apologised, never admitted one was in the wrong, what chance was there of becoming a good person?

2. For as long as I could remember I had used the s-word at every opportunity; to appease parents, teachers, friends and total strangers. The apologies did me good - like prunes or yogurt. 

3. I believe in the s-word. Like 'please' and 'thank you', it makes the world go round.

4. I take the blame because taking the blame is easier than not taking blame. Just misplaced chivalry, some would say, but what is wrong with a bit of chivalry in our backbitting world? Lunch is amicable, when it could have opened on a sour note.

5. As a society, we remain besotted with the s-word. It enjoys totemic status, binding the whole tribe together. 'Just say you're sorry' has become one of the drumbeats of the age. New apologies are demanded every day.

6. We tell ourselves that if only someone says sorry, everything will be all right and we can all live happily ever after. But how often is the apology that has been demanded forthcoming, and in a form that gives satisfaction to all concerned?

7. For many, saying sorry has become as laborious as giving birth.

8. Saying sorry has also been made harder by the intransigence of those who refuse to apologise on principle. Two concurrent but contradictory trends can be discerned: a trend for apologising more and more, particularly for things like the slave trade; and as a reaction to the first trend, matched with Newtonian precision, a trend for viewing all apologies as a form of emotional self-indulgence.

9. The paradox of the word 'sorry' is that a versatile word, useful in all kinds of different contexts, is also an incredibly hard word to use correctly. It may be versatile, but it is also ambiguous. How often do we want to apologise but become tongue-tied and defensive?

10. Nothing kills an apology quicker than insincerity. 

11. The more successful people are, the more reluctant they are to apologise, which is perhaps not suprising. Behind most successful careers there is an element of ruthlessness, a disinclination to worry about upsetting other people.

12. Will an apology make me look better or worse than a refusal to apologise?

13. An apology is not a gesture, a verbal mannerism: it must come from the heart.

14. In some situations - for example, if you have bumped into someone in the street - saying sorry is just an instinctive, spur-of-the-moment thing. Out the world rushed, like a cough or sneeze: it is almost as if you have no control over your own reflexes. But in more emotionally charged situations, when you have hurt someone you love or had ablazung row with a work colleague, apologising does not have that effortless simplicity. It must begin with a period of honest introspection.

15. Saying sorry is, or should be, a pure act, like making a declaration of love.

16. Call me a cynic, but I am always sceptical about apologies delivered on a floor tide of emotion. If you are truly contrite, it is the hurt you have caused the other person, and their emotions - not your own distress, genuine though it might be - that should have priority. To turn your apology into a self-serving pantomime of a grief is a form of discourtesy. You need to demonstrate remorse - that goes without saying - but it must not be remorse of the the theatrical, exaggerated kind. A little sobriety is required.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

without wax

I started this blog on February 2009. Almost 6 years and still counting, Insya-Allah. If it was my kid, next year he/she will go to the primary school. Lol :)
Writing has become my passion ever since I was a kid. I loved writing stories (even though it may sounded totally crap). But most of the time, I wrote a lot in my diary (back when the diary was very popular). 

Hence when the blogging era started to gain its popularity, I said to myself, why not I have one for myself since I used to have my own website when I was 8 years old (Big thanks to my aunt who are willingly to help me create it even though I didn't understand much about it at that time). So voila! I had my own blog!

I still remembered that at that time, I named it 'Journey of My Life'. (Typical) -.-
The url that used at that time was The reasons why I used that were because:

1. I was short for my age. So that's why 'little'.
2. 'Hunny bunny' was my nick name that my friends used to call me. I thought of going with 'hunny bunch' but I guessed hunny bunny suited better :)

I used the blog's name and url for about 1 year and half until I read Digital Fortress book by Dan Brown. I had to say that it was an amazing book. Told ya'! 

From that moment, I started to used 'without wax' as my blog's name and also my signature before I ended my post. I didn't know if any of the bloggers had used the same one as me but as far as I'm concern I had not copied anyone else. 

I hadn't get much readers or followers of my blog after 6 years of writing. (Just looked at the contents of it. I didn't wrote beneficial posts much for the readers). I didn't actually care about the numbers of my readers or followers because my intention at the very first place of having this blog was to write anything that had crossed my mind and also what I had felt after all these while. Plus, I am just a plain girl. 

But when I saw someone who did stole my post (it happened before), my heart was shattered. No wonder some bloggers were very mad if they knew someone who stole/copy and paste their posts or whatsoever without acknowledge or giving them the credits. Now I knew how it feels. Because sometimes to write something it wasn't that easy. It sometimes need a lot of hard works, time and many more.Trust me. 

And now I thought of the idea of writing in a blog wasn't as popular as before and no one would ever do that plagiarism thing again. But recently I found it. I didn't know if it was a coincidence? I hoped that it was a coincidence. 

Maybe some of you might say that it was a small matters, don't need to brag about it. Dang! Man, you are totally wrong. I do really care about it because plagiarism is very unethical. At least give some credits. 

I should have stopped now. Gotta pull myself up to study. 

Till then.

without wax,
haniyahaya :) 

p/s: I thought of writing about this before but I couldn't manage to find it where it went. I should checked my draft or thrash after this.

Monday, October 19, 2015


Semalam aku tidur awal kerana terlalu keletihan. Tidur di atas sofa bertemankan buku disebelah. Jam tatkala itu menunjukkan pukul 9 lebih. Tiba-tiba aku terjaga dari lenaku. Tak tahu kenapa. Mata tutup tapi otak ligat berfikir sesuatu. Apa yang berlegar dalam fikiran aku ialah, aku tengah terjaga ni. Bukan kena 'tindih'. Tengok, aku siap boleh gerak jari lagi. Otak masa tu pun dah terfikir tentang Allah. Aku seboleh-bolehnya nak percaya yang aku bukan berada dalam situasi hypnopompic. Dan selang beberapa minit selepas itu, aku pun sambung tidur semula -.-

Pukul 12.30 pagi aku terjaga lagi sebab sakit badan akibat tidur di atas sofa. Masa ni memang betul-betul terjaga. Bila fikirkan balik pasal yang aku terjaga tu membuatkan aku tersenyum sendiri. Tulah, tidur tak ingat Allah. Bukannya nak baca doa sebelum tidur ke, ambil wudhuk ke. Dan aku rasa salah satu faktor yang membuatkan aku terfikir pasal benda tu ialah pagi sebelum tu aku terbaca pasal hypnopompic and hypnagogic yang pernah aku belajar ketika dalam posting Psychiatry masa Year 4 yang lepas. Hahaha. Kelakar betul sampai terbawa-bawa ke tidur. Aku dah ingat awal-awal aku berhalusinasi. 

Alhamdulillah, aku sebenarnya tak kena 'tindih' pun. Hanya mainan tidur je tu.

* Hypnogogic hallucinations occur just before sleep, and may be accompanied by sleep paralysis, a state in which the subject is physically immobile, but fully conscious. Hypnogogia and sleep paralysis often cause fear, more so than in sleep paralysis during hypnopompia which is often considered as part a dream by the subject, as well as feelings of difficulty breathing and muscle tightness. 
* Hypnopompia occurs upon waking, and may also be accompanied by sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis is much more common in hypnopompia than in hypnogogia. Sleep paralysis is often confused by the person experiencing it as part of a lucid dream, which accounts for the high number of recalled dreams with elements of being frozen in place, or being unable to move. Common hypnopompic experiences include the sensation of falling and the feeling of a presence in the room.

P/S: Sebenarnya aku baru baca yang kalau orang kata dia kena 'tindih' tu maknanya dia sedang mengalami 'hypnopompic'. 

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Friday, October 9, 2015

First week of my final year

Yes, as stated above, I am currently in my final year. You can't believe it? Neither do I.

Well let me tell you. This year we have the 4 major postings that we used to have when we were in our third year; Internal Medicine, Surgery, O&G and Paediatrics. We have extra 2 postings which are Orthoaedics and Emergency Medicine. We have never done Emergency Medicine before so I guess it will be something new to us, I mean..the experience.

So I start my final year with O&G and Paediatrics posting. This week is O&G posting. I had to admit that O&G was one of my favourite posting and my spirit was skyrocketing when I knew that I started with this posting. But coming to the end of the first week, my spirit was coming to the dead end. It was going down hill and boom.. Just dead. I was very stressed and I might just think that I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I felt so stupid because I didn't remember what I'd learnt during my third year. I didn't feel that I'm ready to become a doctor next two years. I felt so jealous of my friends who did better than I did. I felt so down because I was not up to the doctors' expectations --You are a final year student, you should know this. How can you don't remember? What have you learnt before? And the list goes on and on.

So I've 4 weeks left of this posting. I'm gonna make full use of it, Insya Allah.  I hope that I won't be forgetting all those things, as if I have eat a lot of ants before-- there's a Malay saying that if you keep forgetting so many things, you probably eat a lot of ants. I have no idea how is the mechanism and why is that so behind it. So don't ask me :)

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Elective posting at Hospital Rehabilitasi Cheras

So recently, I just finished my elective posting at Hospital Rehabilitasi Cheras (HRC). The posting is actually where you can do at which ever department that you want, and where it is. You have to do it in a group of people (minimum 6 pax. Our group consisted of 6 pax). We chose to do ours at HRC because it is nearer to our houses  (sort of).

Frankly speaking, at the very first place, I didn't want to do my posting there. After all the trials and tribulations (heh) that we had faced, I just didn't have the heart to go with it. So with a heavy heart of mine, I just walked in through the door. 

Since we only had 6 people, we were being divided into 3 different departments; stroke, spinal and amputee that means 2 person in each department. I was lucky enough to be posted at the stroke department with my friend, FA. Oh just great! I didn't feel that I wanted to do this posting and now I'd been placed at the department that had been giving me a nightmare when I was in 3rd year (I was almost failed my medicine posting because I got a stroke case for my EOP. It was just bad) . Just great! 

But my perspective was changed the moment I met the HOD of the Stroke Dept and the rest of the specialist and MOs there. They were so kind, nice and willing to teach us (despite of I think I was the biggest loser-- Yeah, I guessed my brain seemed to have atrophied due to long holiday after Eid).

Nevertheless, I did enjoyed my posting there. I enjoyed the ward rounds, IDR (interdisciplinary rounds where all the doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, audiologist, speech therapist etc.), clinic session, CME, teaching session and last but not least-- The Journal Club (where all the doctors gather together and discussed about a journal).

And honestly speaking, I missed IDR the most because I loved to see all of them from different departments gathered and discussed together about the patients' progress.

Big thanks to all the staffs (specialists, MOs, sisters, staff nurses and etc) for all your kindness. It has been a pleasure for us to be posted there in ward 1B. Till we meet again! :)

FA and me together with Dr Yati, the HOD of Ward 1B

without wax,
haniyahaya :)