Assalamualaikum and good evening.
So today I just had finished my End of Posting (EOP) exam for Psychiatry. Mind you that Psychiatry was not my cup of tea. Nevertheless, I decided to do my best for this exam.
As usual, I got very anxious starting the night before the exam had started. I just felt that I couldn't sit properly, worried about how am I going to perform during the exam, I couldn't concentrate to study (Please don't do this! Last minute study is not practically a good idea) and the list went on and on.
Later that night I decided to go to the bed early. No caffeine intake but of course I couldn't help on checking my hand phone for the last minute before I went to bed. (Well, my sleep hygiene was partially fair, I must say) And not to forget I put down my notes and DSM-5 right beside my pillow; hoping for all the information in there would be osmosis during REM (Rapid Eye Movement). I knew it sounded ridiculous and I was being delusional but hey.. I could hope right? (Just kidding!)
I still remembered that I got a dream about the upcoming exam. In my dream, it was clearly shown that I got a case of alcohol (substance abuse). I was terrified because the patient looked kind of scary (with messy hair and dirty clothes). Suddenly, I woke up from my sleep. I couldn't even started interviewing him yet in my dream. Ah.. What a waste!
For the exam, we got two stations:
1. The modified long case. We needed to clerk and get a history from the patient and do the mental state examination (MSE) within 10 minutes. After that, there would be a Q&A session with the examiner for another 10 minutes. Total = 20 minutes.
2. Clinical Viva. We would be given a case scenario and then we needed to discuss it with the examiner. Duration = 10 minutes.
I had waited patiently for my turn (I was the 13th candidates out of 21). And still, I was very anxious and hoped that I could go back home soon!
For the station 1, I got a case on substance induced mania episode. (It was just like in my dream though it wasn't alcohol!)That was what I had told the examiner what my provisional diagnosis even though I was still in doubt that he could be having Bipolar Type I Disorder in manic episode. For the station 2, it was a case of substance induce psychosis (Again, it was substance induced case!) I was kind of sad because there were lots of things that I forgot to ask. To be honest, I felt that I could do much better in both stations. My viva station had been just suck. I just hoped that I could pass this exam. I would be grateful enough :)
But..Please don't take it seriously about my dream. It was just a coincidence. Nothing much. But I still remembered that one of the specialists had gave us a good and loving advice on the night before the exam started. She asked us about our preparation for the exam and told us to pray a lot. Do solat Hajat and pray that you'll be given a good examiner, cooperative patient and easy case. I had always admired her ever since I was in this posting because her motherly side was shown in her personality. She was very caring, loving and kind. I was once entered her consulatation room and watched the way she consulted a patient and his family members. Subhanallah. She was what a doctor that everyone wished to seek for! I wished to be like her one day, insyaAllah :)
Alhamdulillah I had just finished my first day of exam. Even though I wished I could do better, but I was grateful to Allah because He had helped me a lot throughout this entire day. I felt so blessed.
That's all from me. I needed to study for my theory paper in this upcoming Friday. Please make du'as for us will ya'?