Sunday, December 6, 2015

Into the tunnel of doomed

I'm a dead meat! Tomorrow will be my eop exam for O&G but I haven't studied yet. I was busy doing so many unnecessary things despite of studying. The worst part is I don't feel anything bad or wrong about it. I don't feel any anxiety, nervousness or anything. My mood and affect were flat. Oh God! What's happening to me?

And today I got a mail from Productive Muslim. The mail was about time. It strucked straight to my heart but still.. I was busy doing nothing instead of studying. What a shame! :(

Oh Hani! Wakey wakey! 

You don't want to screw up everything in your exam don't you?

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Monday, November 30, 2015


My high school classmate once told me that I was a nerd. I flipped around. I was like.. No, I am not! A nerd? Are you kidding me? 

I asked him why he said that. He told me that I always finished my homework and always obeyed the school's laws and regulations. 

I had to say that it was 50:50.

The homework part was true. I had to admit that I always finished my homework on time and as always, my homework would be the source of references for my friends to copy & paste (oh well.. The life of a boarding school students. Flipped hair).

I never went out to hang out with my friends. My parents hardly gave me the permission to go out with my friends even though it was during school holidays. Well at that time, you looked cool if you hung out with your friends at the mall and I was trying to be one. Lulz. But of course, my parents won't allow me even though I was born and raised in KL (I hardly remembered all the roads in KL). Hence, I spent most of my school holidays reading in the public library :)

The law-abiding part.. Oh let's see. It was half true. I obeyed the laws like never missed the school, prep hours and etc. But one thing I that I couldn't comprehend was regarding hand phone. As you can see, I lived in Bangi which was definitely far away from Perak (my boarding school). It was really hard for me if I wanted to go back home and called my parents to tell them where am I because I always went back home by bus. Never in my three years of schooling there my parents picked me up from school. So that was my solid reason of why I always bring my hand phone to school. I didn't use it during weekdays or weekend (I used the public phone to make a call okay?) I just used it whenever I wanted to go back home. But yeah, of course they won't believe me. Rules remain as rules. 

Now coming to think of it, I have to accept that I was such a nerd! 

I know this is a random but when I was walking down through the memory chat logs, photos, blog posts.. I laughed to myself. I was a lame person and.. A nerd! 

And now, coming to the questions..

Are you ashamed of yourself?

Are you proud of yourself?
Not saying that I'm proud (that sounds really boastful ey?) but I'm happy with who I am right now. 

Doesn't matter what people want to say about you, as long as you know who you really are.

Right? Oh now I sounded like Dr Phil. Lol. 
Never mind. This is just a random rant on midnight.

Good night!

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Sunday, November 15, 2015

O&G posting

I just finished my O&G posting last 2 weeks and frankly speaking, I kept asking myself for an umpteenth times, what did I learn so far in O&G? 

Honestly, O&G is a very wide thing. It's not only about labour and stuffs. It is way more beyond than that! I hadn't started yet my revision on O&G. Plus I hadn't even started my 4th year subjects which I had planned to do so before this. Such a lazy bum, Hani!

And I guessed I learnt more about O&G this year. Like in my third year, I only went to the labour room for the sake of filling up the logbook and now, I did understand the labour truly was. How they did manage the labour and stuffs. Although I didn't get a chance to conduct a delivery but I had a chance to assist them a little bit (even though not much) like did the venepuncture and helping and learning at the same time from the doctor to suture the perineal tear (I didn't do the suturing part, just applied the lignocaine to patient). I did even got a chance to set the line to a patient in PAC (although in the end it wasn't a success, but hey, Rome wasn't built in a day!). Got to see procedures like colposcopy, TAHBSO, D&C and hysteroscopy. It was fun :D

Alright. Gotta pull myself up. No more joking and playing around. 

This is a mental note to myself. Please plant it on your cerebral cortex. You're a final year student. You will be graduated soon and become a doctor. Gotta be a safe doctor or else you'll be regret for the rest of your life.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

My Tagged profile

I have several emails, but I only stick with two emails; one is for all the official things and the another one is for all my social medias. The official one of course sounded like an official email address as it has my name as my email address. In the other hand, the one that I used for all my social media was the email address that I made ever since I was 12, hence the address was kinda childish as it may sound--with all the 'z' just to look cool. Because back then where we tend to spell gurlz for girl, kidz for kid and etc. Sounds pretty cool back then. Lol. Did you get what I mean?

So yesterday I decided to open my second email (the one for social media). I was completely shocked as I had 5000+ mails in my mailbox (it was near to 6k actually). Gosh, how lazy am I to clear up my mailbox. I could see that all the mails were notification emails sent by all the social medias that I'd been signed up for. 

And suddenly I came across with the notification email sent by Tagged. If you don't know what Tagged is, it was actually a social media back in a day where Friendster, Myspace, Hi-5 were popular. The moment I signed in my Tagged profile, I was having a cringe attack and at the same time, I couldn't stop laughing to myself. 

Here's the preview of my Tagged profile..

Source: haniyahaya

OMG! ASDFGHJKL!! What was I thinking back then???

Can you appreciate the background of my profile page? Well you see, I loved blue and black so I preferred to use some darker elements as my profile page theme because I thought it suited me better and of course, I thought it was cool. -.- *sigh* I still remembered that I used to stay up all night long just to edit my Friendster, Myspace, Tagged and Hi-5 profiles. I kept on changing my profile themes and also the background song for my profile. I didn't know how to create my own profile background so what I did was, I went to the the website that had all of these profile themes and then I just copied the html generator code and pasted it in my 'Edit Profile' setting. And voila! I just got a new profile background. Good old memories :)

And look at 'About Me' section.

Music: Whatever sounds cool. 
Yeah, basically I just listen to all kinds of music. From the boybands to the pop rock bands, from the hip hop/rap to R&B and jazz. 

Movies: I guessed I was so lazy to write in this section because trust me, I loved watching movies. I could spent hours and hours to watch movies and did a movie marathon every weekend. But now.. Ain't nobody got time for that! :D

Books: Yeah, that is so like me. I guessed I should add more genres like 'Young adult', 'Romance', 'Self-Help' and also 'General Fiction'.

Sports: I wasn't a type of person who was good in sport. I didn't play much during my high school. I just played hockey when I was in primary school and martial arts (silat) when I was in my secondary school. But don't get me wrong. I loved sports. But sometimes you won't get much chance to be part of the team or represent your schools. And of course, I was such a lazy bum especially to go out and play during 'riadah' :)

About me: blablabla~ Oh God, I guessed I was very lazy to write on this section. 

After having the cringe attack for more than 2 hours, I decided to terminate my Tagged profile. Hahaha. But seriously Tagged, I was very happy reminiscing my old memories. So, thank you!

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Sunday, November 1, 2015

My life as a medical student - Part I

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.  
Okay the title may sound a little bit cliche. I know. Nevertheless, I decided to write my journey as a medical student here because I thought that it might be helpful for those who want to pursue their studies in medical field. But hey, don't be judgmental. It is not that I'm being bias or what. I wrote this because it was based on my experiences. I never assume that being a medical student means that you're the greatest among all. No way!

So let me begin my story with : Why I want to be a doctor?

First and foremost, ever since I was a little kid I've always wanted to be a doctor. Of course my parents were the major factor of why I want to be one. I still remembered that when Mercy Malaysia had deployed a team of volunteers back in 1999 to Kosovo, I always taught that I wanted to become like that too. Hence, my mum told me that you could be one, if you are a doctor. Ever since that day, I started to say to myself that I want to become a doctor. So whenever the teachers or neighbours or my parents' colleagues asked me, what did I want to be when I grow up, I straight away answered that I wanted to be a doctor. No doubt about that.

But somehow, I was thinking of other professions too, for example forensic doctor. When I was a kid, I was a die-hard fan of a Hong-Kong drama, 'Witness to a Prosecution' and also the hit-TV drama, CSI. Both of them were about forensic medicine and I started to dream to be forensic scientist. I believed that some of you guys might feel the same way as I did when we watched CSI. (It was very cool to watch how did they collect, process and analyse all the evidences until they managed to find the criminal. Plus the technologies that they used. Man, they were awesome!) But it didn't last long. I still stick to be a doctor.

When I was in upper form, I finally discovered that I really wanted to be a doctor. Engineering was out of my list. Sorry to the engineers out there! I was not really good in Physics and Add Maths. Add maths was quite okay, but Physics? I wasn't really good in it. Shame on me. I just studied Physics for the sake of my SPM (This wasn't a good example for you to follow).

So basically, there were a lot of factors that contributed to my choice. My parents also was one of them. You see, my parents were hoping that I could be a doctor one day. Ever since I was a little kid, they had implemented that being a doctor is a noble career; you can help those people who are indeed, so on and so forth. There was also a point where I was at my weakest point- I felt so down because I didn't get the SPC scholarship to pursue in medicine (which it turned out to be a bluff. I actually got it but the thing is the offer letter came out late. Hahaha!). I even asked my mum, what if I don't get a chance to be a doctor? My mom suggested that I took a law instead (which is a BIG NO for me). Coming to think about it now, I don't think that law will work for me :)

If you ask the doctors or any other medical students; why they want to be a doctor, the answer that you will get might varies from one another. It is subjective. Different people have their own reasons of why they choose this path. Whatever it is, this path is very long and such a tumultuous ride. As for me, it is just a beginning. I always pray that Allah will make it easier for me. InsyaAllah. 

without wax,
haniyahaya :) 

p/s: I actually had wrote this post for almost a year and never published it.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Book excerpts 1

Saying sorry is in my DNA. Part of my birthright, you might say. I am Asian, therefore I apologise. Sorry, but there it is. 

Okay, full stop.

These were excerpts taken from 'Sorry: The Hardest Word and How to Use It' by Max Davidson. I found the book was amusing and made me think about the art of apologizing. I shared it with you so that you could have a look and try to read the book. And maybe we could discuss it together? :)

1. For if one never apologised, never admitted one was in the wrong, what chance was there of becoming a good person?

2. For as long as I could remember I had used the s-word at every opportunity; to appease parents, teachers, friends and total strangers. The apologies did me good - like prunes or yogurt. 

3. I believe in the s-word. Like 'please' and 'thank you', it makes the world go round.

4. I take the blame because taking the blame is easier than not taking blame. Just misplaced chivalry, some would say, but what is wrong with a bit of chivalry in our backbitting world? Lunch is amicable, when it could have opened on a sour note.

5. As a society, we remain besotted with the s-word. It enjoys totemic status, binding the whole tribe together. 'Just say you're sorry' has become one of the drumbeats of the age. New apologies are demanded every day.

6. We tell ourselves that if only someone says sorry, everything will be all right and we can all live happily ever after. But how often is the apology that has been demanded forthcoming, and in a form that gives satisfaction to all concerned?

7. For many, saying sorry has become as laborious as giving birth.

8. Saying sorry has also been made harder by the intransigence of those who refuse to apologise on principle. Two concurrent but contradictory trends can be discerned: a trend for apologising more and more, particularly for things like the slave trade; and as a reaction to the first trend, matched with Newtonian precision, a trend for viewing all apologies as a form of emotional self-indulgence.

9. The paradox of the word 'sorry' is that a versatile word, useful in all kinds of different contexts, is also an incredibly hard word to use correctly. It may be versatile, but it is also ambiguous. How often do we want to apologise but become tongue-tied and defensive?

10. Nothing kills an apology quicker than insincerity. 

11. The more successful people are, the more reluctant they are to apologise, which is perhaps not suprising. Behind most successful careers there is an element of ruthlessness, a disinclination to worry about upsetting other people.

12. Will an apology make me look better or worse than a refusal to apologise?

13. An apology is not a gesture, a verbal mannerism: it must come from the heart.

14. In some situations - for example, if you have bumped into someone in the street - saying sorry is just an instinctive, spur-of-the-moment thing. Out the world rushed, like a cough or sneeze: it is almost as if you have no control over your own reflexes. But in more emotionally charged situations, when you have hurt someone you love or had ablazung row with a work colleague, apologising does not have that effortless simplicity. It must begin with a period of honest introspection.

15. Saying sorry is, or should be, a pure act, like making a declaration of love.

16. Call me a cynic, but I am always sceptical about apologies delivered on a floor tide of emotion. If you are truly contrite, it is the hurt you have caused the other person, and their emotions - not your own distress, genuine though it might be - that should have priority. To turn your apology into a self-serving pantomime of a grief is a form of discourtesy. You need to demonstrate remorse - that goes without saying - but it must not be remorse of the the theatrical, exaggerated kind. A little sobriety is required.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

without wax

I started this blog on February 2009. Almost 6 years and still counting, Insya-Allah. If it was my kid, next year he/she will go to the primary school. Lol :)
Writing has become my passion ever since I was a kid. I loved writing stories (even though it may sounded totally crap). But most of the time, I wrote a lot in my diary (back when the diary was very popular). 

Hence when the blogging era started to gain its popularity, I said to myself, why not I have one for myself since I used to have my own website when I was 8 years old (Big thanks to my aunt who are willingly to help me create it even though I didn't understand much about it at that time). So voila! I had my own blog!

I still remembered that at that time, I named it 'Journey of My Life'. (Typical) -.-
The url that used at that time was The reasons why I used that were because:

1. I was short for my age. So that's why 'little'.
2. 'Hunny bunny' was my nick name that my friends used to call me. I thought of going with 'hunny bunch' but I guessed hunny bunny suited better :)

I used the blog's name and url for about 1 year and half until I read Digital Fortress book by Dan Brown. I had to say that it was an amazing book. Told ya'! 

From that moment, I started to used 'without wax' as my blog's name and also my signature before I ended my post. I didn't know if any of the bloggers had used the same one as me but as far as I'm concern I had not copied anyone else. 

I hadn't get much readers or followers of my blog after 6 years of writing. (Just looked at the contents of it. I didn't wrote beneficial posts much for the readers). I didn't actually care about the numbers of my readers or followers because my intention at the very first place of having this blog was to write anything that had crossed my mind and also what I had felt after all these while. Plus, I am just a plain girl. 

But when I saw someone who did stole my post (it happened before), my heart was shattered. No wonder some bloggers were very mad if they knew someone who stole/copy and paste their posts or whatsoever without acknowledge or giving them the credits. Now I knew how it feels. Because sometimes to write something it wasn't that easy. It sometimes need a lot of hard works, time and many more.Trust me. 

And now I thought of the idea of writing in a blog wasn't as popular as before and no one would ever do that plagiarism thing again. But recently I found it. I didn't know if it was a coincidence? I hoped that it was a coincidence. 

Maybe some of you might say that it was a small matters, don't need to brag about it. Dang! Man, you are totally wrong. I do really care about it because plagiarism is very unethical. At least give some credits. 

I should have stopped now. Gotta pull myself up to study. 

Till then.

without wax,
haniyahaya :) 

p/s: I thought of writing about this before but I couldn't manage to find it where it went. I should checked my draft or thrash after this.

Monday, October 19, 2015


Semalam aku tidur awal kerana terlalu keletihan. Tidur di atas sofa bertemankan buku disebelah. Jam tatkala itu menunjukkan pukul 9 lebih. Tiba-tiba aku terjaga dari lenaku. Tak tahu kenapa. Mata tutup tapi otak ligat berfikir sesuatu. Apa yang berlegar dalam fikiran aku ialah, aku tengah terjaga ni. Bukan kena 'tindih'. Tengok, aku siap boleh gerak jari lagi. Otak masa tu pun dah terfikir tentang Allah. Aku seboleh-bolehnya nak percaya yang aku bukan berada dalam situasi hypnopompic. Dan selang beberapa minit selepas itu, aku pun sambung tidur semula -.-

Pukul 12.30 pagi aku terjaga lagi sebab sakit badan akibat tidur di atas sofa. Masa ni memang betul-betul terjaga. Bila fikirkan balik pasal yang aku terjaga tu membuatkan aku tersenyum sendiri. Tulah, tidur tak ingat Allah. Bukannya nak baca doa sebelum tidur ke, ambil wudhuk ke. Dan aku rasa salah satu faktor yang membuatkan aku terfikir pasal benda tu ialah pagi sebelum tu aku terbaca pasal hypnopompic and hypnagogic yang pernah aku belajar ketika dalam posting Psychiatry masa Year 4 yang lepas. Hahaha. Kelakar betul sampai terbawa-bawa ke tidur. Aku dah ingat awal-awal aku berhalusinasi. 

Alhamdulillah, aku sebenarnya tak kena 'tindih' pun. Hanya mainan tidur je tu.

* Hypnogogic hallucinations occur just before sleep, and may be accompanied by sleep paralysis, a state in which the subject is physically immobile, but fully conscious. Hypnogogia and sleep paralysis often cause fear, more so than in sleep paralysis during hypnopompia which is often considered as part a dream by the subject, as well as feelings of difficulty breathing and muscle tightness. 
* Hypnopompia occurs upon waking, and may also be accompanied by sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis is much more common in hypnopompia than in hypnogogia. Sleep paralysis is often confused by the person experiencing it as part of a lucid dream, which accounts for the high number of recalled dreams with elements of being frozen in place, or being unable to move. Common hypnopompic experiences include the sensation of falling and the feeling of a presence in the room.

P/S: Sebenarnya aku baru baca yang kalau orang kata dia kena 'tindih' tu maknanya dia sedang mengalami 'hypnopompic'. 

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Friday, October 9, 2015

First week of my final year

Yes, as stated above, I am currently in my final year. You can't believe it? Neither do I.

Well let me tell you. This year we have the 4 major postings that we used to have when we were in our third year; Internal Medicine, Surgery, O&G and Paediatrics. We have extra 2 postings which are Orthoaedics and Emergency Medicine. We have never done Emergency Medicine before so I guess it will be something new to us, I mean..the experience.

So I start my final year with O&G and Paediatrics posting. This week is O&G posting. I had to admit that O&G was one of my favourite posting and my spirit was skyrocketing when I knew that I started with this posting. But coming to the end of the first week, my spirit was coming to the dead end. It was going down hill and boom.. Just dead. I was very stressed and I might just think that I wanted to bang my head against the wall. I felt so stupid because I didn't remember what I'd learnt during my third year. I didn't feel that I'm ready to become a doctor next two years. I felt so jealous of my friends who did better than I did. I felt so down because I was not up to the doctors' expectations --You are a final year student, you should know this. How can you don't remember? What have you learnt before? And the list goes on and on.

So I've 4 weeks left of this posting. I'm gonna make full use of it, Insya Allah.  I hope that I won't be forgetting all those things, as if I have eat a lot of ants before-- there's a Malay saying that if you keep forgetting so many things, you probably eat a lot of ants. I have no idea how is the mechanism and why is that so behind it. So don't ask me :)

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Elective posting at Hospital Rehabilitasi Cheras

So recently, I just finished my elective posting at Hospital Rehabilitasi Cheras (HRC). The posting is actually where you can do at which ever department that you want, and where it is. You have to do it in a group of people (minimum 6 pax. Our group consisted of 6 pax). We chose to do ours at HRC because it is nearer to our houses  (sort of).

Frankly speaking, at the very first place, I didn't want to do my posting there. After all the trials and tribulations (heh) that we had faced, I just didn't have the heart to go with it. So with a heavy heart of mine, I just walked in through the door. 

Since we only had 6 people, we were being divided into 3 different departments; stroke, spinal and amputee that means 2 person in each department. I was lucky enough to be posted at the stroke department with my friend, FA. Oh just great! I didn't feel that I wanted to do this posting and now I'd been placed at the department that had been giving me a nightmare when I was in 3rd year (I was almost failed my medicine posting because I got a stroke case for my EOP. It was just bad) . Just great! 

But my perspective was changed the moment I met the HOD of the Stroke Dept and the rest of the specialist and MOs there. They were so kind, nice and willing to teach us (despite of I think I was the biggest loser-- Yeah, I guessed my brain seemed to have atrophied due to long holiday after Eid).

Nevertheless, I did enjoyed my posting there. I enjoyed the ward rounds, IDR (interdisciplinary rounds where all the doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, audiologist, speech therapist etc.), clinic session, CME, teaching session and last but not least-- The Journal Club (where all the doctors gather together and discussed about a journal).

And honestly speaking, I missed IDR the most because I loved to see all of them from different departments gathered and discussed together about the patients' progress.

Big thanks to all the staffs (specialists, MOs, sisters, staff nurses and etc) for all your kindness. It has been a pleasure for us to be posted there in ward 1B. Till we meet again! :)

FA and me together with Dr Yati, the HOD of Ward 1B

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Backpacking to Sarawak

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh and good morning. How are you guys doing? Hope you are doing fine there. Before I forget, Eid Mubarak for those who are celebrating.

So last week, I went for a backpacking to Sarawak with my ex-classmate when I was in MRSM Gerik, Fetty. We went there to visit our Geography teacher, Miss Karl. Guess what? We actually hadn't met with each other for 7 years! That was insane! So in order to make this trip successful we basically contacted through fb, whatsapp and email. Thank you for the technologies nowadays tho! :)

We actually went to Sibu and Kapit because we did not had a chance to travel across Sarawak due to time limit (since our trip were 4 days and 3 nights trip). We went there from 18th September 2015 - 21st September 2015. We managed to get quite cheap tickets for our flights. We took AirAsia and the cost for each person was RM280+ (return tickets). 

Day 1 (18/9/2015)

We departed from klia2 at 12:50 p.m and arrived Sibu around 2:50 p.m. We then took a taxi to Sibu town. We checked-in to our hotel, Perdana Inn (which was behind Arked MARA). It was a budget hotel which costed RM50 for one night stay (we took a room with two single beds). 

Most of the people in Sibu were Chinese but we hadn't found any difficulties to find halal foods here because Miss Karl (our teacher) had told us before where to find one. Later that evening we went to have our lunch at KFC nearby and started to take a look around. 

First pit stop was Sibu Heritage Centre. But it was late in the evening so by the time we arrived there, it was closed already. But never mind, we just took a picture here :)

Sibu Heritage Centre
Source: haniyahaya

After that, we went to the night market. Mind you, this market was divided into 2; the halal one and non-halal. So you wouldn't have difficulty to find the halal food here :)

Night Market
Source: haniyahaya
After wandering around at the night market, we continued to walk around the town.

Arked MARA
Source: haniyahaya
One of the landmarks here in Sibu; the dolphin sculpture
Source: haniyahaya
And last but not least, Sibu Gateway
Source: haniyahaya
Day 2 (19/9/2015)

Next day, Miss Karl went to our hotel early in the morning. We went to have our breakfast at Arked MARA before we went off to Kapit by boat (don't worry, it was an express boat. You don't need to row it whatsoever).
And since we were in Sarawak, we tried the local food here; Mee Kampua. 

Mee Kampua (with soup) & a cup of hot tea.
Rating: 8/10!
Source: haniyahaya
Basically the food here will be served with a bowl of soup like that. No matter what you've ordered. Like for example if you ordered fried rice, they will also serve a bowl of soup as a complementary dish (no extra charge). Even if you eat nasi campur!

With my ex-classmate; Fetty
Source: haniyahaya
The boat that we went to ride on to Kapit
Source: haniyahaya
The trip to Kapit basically was about 3 hours journey. We were off to Kapit at 9:30 a.m. But here's the interesting story of it..

When we bought our tickets (Miss Karl, Fetty and I), our seats were supposed to be 13D, 13E and 13F respectively. The seats were attached together at the back of the cabin. But when we came to our seats, they were occupied by a family of 5 (father, mother and 3 of their children). The only seats left were 13D (couldn't remember the exact seat) and 11C. Weird! Then the mother came to us and told that she wanted to swap one of the seats with us (her seat was supposef to be 11C). Okay. Then we told the management team about this but the problem wasn't being settled professionally. Later, Miss Karl asked me to sat at 11C and Fetty to sat at 13D. We had no idea where Miss Karl. After we arrived Kapit, then only we knew that Miss Karl sat on the stairs in front of the cabin. And she also told us about what exactly happened there (regarding our seats). It happened that the mother bought only one ticket for her 3 children because she didn't have enough money. So when she bought the ticket, she then decided to change the seat at the back of the cabin because the seats were attached together and more spacey. It really touched my heart because there were people out there that were not fortunate compared to us. The price for the ticket was RM30 (there were RM35. RM30 etc based on its classes). So if the mother had to pay for her 3 children, that makes RM90 in total. If including her and her husband? You do the math! That was only for one way ticket. 

We went to checked-in to our hotel; Star Inn Hotel. It was a new hotel, so the facilities provided were great! (except there's no free wifi)

After we had our lunch, we went to visit the traditional long house. It was actually a gamble for fus to go here. We didn't have any clue about it. We didn't know where is it. Even though Miss Karl is a Sarawakian but she hadn't been here before. But luckily we met two nice gentlemen, Abon and Larry on our way to go to the long house. Abon and Larry then invited us to go to their long houses. They also showed us around. Abon even showed us his school (he was 15 years old btw). Larry was 14 years old and he studied in MRSM Mukah (yeayy! Another MRSM students. Hahaha). Their families were so kind and nice, and they even invited us to spend a night there. 

A view of the long house here in Kapit
Source: haniyahaya
Day 3 (20/9/2015)

Next morning, we packed our things and headed off to Sibu. Before we went off to Sibu, we took some pictures around the town.

At Kapit Town Square
You can find a rent van here to go to the villages etc.
We took a van from here to go to the long house.
Price for one trip : RM 2 (depends on how far your destination)
Source: haniyahaya
Morning view of Rajang river
Source: haniyahaya
After we arrived Sibu, we checked-in to our hotel; Royal Reagent Hotel. It was near the Premier Hotel. Later, we went to have our lunch and went to Wisma Sanyan. Wisma Sanyan was the tallest building in Sibu. Then, we went to watch a movie and went to the night market to have our dinner.

Day 4 (21/9/2015)

We went to the central market and bought some kek lapis to bring back home. After that, we went to have our breakfast there. I decided to give a try on Laksa Sarawak. Well, I'm sorry to say that it was not my cup of tea. I preferred Mee Kampua better. After we had our breakfast, it was time for us to say goodbye. Since Miss Karl had some works to do, we had to say goodbye early. Then, Fetty and I went to Sibu Heritage Centre to buy some souvenirs there. We headed to airport at 10:30 a.m. since we had a flight to catch on 1:00 p.m.

Laksa Sarawak
Source: haniyahaya

I really enjoyed the trip. Big thanks to Fetty and Miss Karl for this trip! Hope to see you guys again soon! 
Till then.

Learn to travel. Travel to learn.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Morning ramble

So this morning my dad asked me to print a letter for him. It was basically one page of letter; no big deal about it. But when I opened the email from my dad I was very shocked because for god's sake..the letter was written in Excel file!! The fonts were jumbled up here and there, not justified, and urghhh.. I didn't blame my dad for it because it was his colleague who done it. My dad wasn't really happy when I told him about it. Then I told him that I could literally edit it (which in the other way round I had to write it all back by using Word because.. Let's be honest. Who on earth do write a letter by using this freaking Excel???)
To make things worst, I only have few minutes to write it back including the letter head etc (since my dad was rushing to go to his office today).
Alhamdulillah. In the end I managed to write the letter back in Word file and print it. Phew!! 
Forgive me but I just don't understand.. Why on earth you do that in the first place?? What were you thinking?? I just can't..

without wax, 
haniyahaya :( 

--> I have to do a sad face because this letter just ruined my mood this morning! So thank you!

Friday, June 26, 2015

Why oh why?

I'm currently in Orthopaedic posting and frankly speaking, I'm now lost in the middle of nowhere. I wished I could be in Hogwarts or Middle Earth or Narnia so that I could escape from it, but yeah.. I had chosen this path and whether I liked it or not, by hook or by crook I needed to deal with it.

It was not that I hated Ortho but it seemed that it was very hard for me to digest all those things. Mind you that I used to dream of being an orthopaedist when I was a little kid. Hahaha! (I wondered where it comes from. ER perhaps?) Plus, we only had two weeks and two days for this posting and I felt that my level of knowledge was waaaaaay below! 

I felt that there were so much to study and understand. Besides that, I haven’t mastered my physical examination yet. This was so frustrating! There was a point that I felt, why on earth that I took medicine in the first place? But when I looked back by intention.. I knew that I shouldn’t be acting like this. Allah! 

Well, I just hoped that I could survive this posting and pass my EOP exam which would be in the next two weeks. Ameen.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Of Radiology and EOP result

Alhamdulillah, I had just finished my Radiology posting. I truly enjoyed it. It was like you were in the middle of a maze and you had to think hard to solve and interpret all those images. Sounds cool isn't?

I guessed that these two weeks of Radio posting were the most hectic and busy week of this month. Who said that Year 4 is a relax year? No way! In your dream!

We even had a mock exam for Radio too yesterday. Well, I have done my very best.. So, I hoped that I could do better in the real EOP exam. InsyaAllah :)

Last Tuesday, we had just knew our result for our previous three rotations. For me, it was ENT/Ophthal/Forensic, Community Medicine and also Primary Care.

As for ENT, Ophthal and Forensic, I've already told you in my previous post right? It was just same as before.

As for the other two:

1) Community Medicine : A-
2) Primary Care : A-

Alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah. 

I've never thought of getting A- in Primary Care because was Primary Care for god sake! And I've never thought of the grade. Really. I was just hoping that I could pass the exam. That's all. 

That's all for today. I'll write more if I got a chance. 

p/s: Ramadhan Kareem to you! Have a blessed Ramadhan, and may Allah make easier for all of us to make a full use of the month of barakah. InsyaAllah.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Tuesday, June 2, 2015


Today was a very tiring day. This morning I went to the Orthopedic operation theater with Arina. Alhamdulillah we got a chance to see Combined Spinal and Epidural (CSE) case. We actually saw two ortho cases but the another one was under GA. Since we hadn't go through orthopaedic posting yet so I couldn't say much about the surgery. 
And this evening, we also had our case presentation (CP). My group presented a case on irreducible paraumbilical hernia and alhamdulillah our doctor was satisfied with it. I was very grateful that our seminar and CP were over. Now, the only thing left was the case write-up. Duh!

I planned to clerk a case tomorrow and tried to finish it up by tomorrow. Well I actually got a case last Monday but since I had presented the case on our BST, I should probably clerk another case. 

Oh yes! Last weekend, Athirah; my ex-roommate when I was in TGB got married! Mabrook to Athirah and zawj. I went to her wedding at Muar, Johor with Fateh and Aneeza. We decided to carpool as we loved our planet and we wanted to conserve resources like gas, clean air and energy by doing so! Hahaha. Basically this was the first wedding of my high school friend that I attended (well, my high school friends yang dah kahwin pun berapa kerat je pun. Boleh bilang dengan jari). I felt so excited plus she was my ex-roommate! We hadn't see each other for the past 5 years! I still remembered that the last time I saw her was the last day of SPM. Even when the day we went to get our SPM result I hadn't got a chance to see her. How bad is that?

with tgbians.
From left : Miti, Amalina Rusman, Aneeza, Athirah, Aisyah, Fateh & me

with tgbians and Athirah's friends who studied in Jordan

So again, mabrook Athirah and zawj for your marriage. May Allah bless you!

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Friday, May 29, 2015


Okay. Give me a break. I'm sorry if I have to mix my language here with BM. Dah tak larat nak fikir. Ni pakai main lanyak je nak tulis apa.

So sekarang ni posting Anaesthesia untuk 2 minggu. Seriously memang menguji sungguh. Tiap tiap hari aku rasa mentally and physically exhausted. Pagi pergi OT sampai tengahari. Petang kelas sampai 5 pm. Pastu malam nak prepare untuk esoknya. Tapi bila maghrib tu aku dah rasa layu dan mengantuk. Memang dah macam sayur la pendek kata. 

Tapi I love Anaesthesia. Posting ni seronok. Cumanya semput sikit la nak catch up. Ni pun aku banyak gila tak study (Dah tahu banyak tak study tapi sempat lagi nak update blog kan). 

Dan pagi tadi aku dapat berita yang exam kitorang bakal diawalkan sebab nak avoid raya. Itu bermakna posting Ortho nanti instead of 3 minggu jadi 2 minggu. Mak aiii.. 

Tu sahaja untuk kali ni. I hope that I can survive this posting! 

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Thursday, May 28, 2015

A new look!

Hello there! 
So as stated above, I decided to make a makeover to my blog. It just came across my mind. I was mentally and physically exhausted with my new posting (Anaesthesia) so I decided to take a break to make some changes to my precious blog :)

Well, it was plain and simple. That was least I could do. Heeee :)

I still remembered that the last header had been used since 2010. It was 5 years ago. Man, this blog had grown up so fast! 

Okay, that's all from me. I wished I could write more but I got a very tight schedule. Even though so, I loved this posting. Hahaha. I still remembered that I once used to dream of being an anaesthesiologist. Well, it wasn't that bad. I thought of reconsider it :)

Till then,
Good night.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Sunday, May 24, 2015

EOP : Psychiatry 2

Last Friday I had finally finished my Psychiatry posting. I had sat for my theory papers which consisted of MCQ, MEQ and SEQ papers. 

For MCQ, we had to answer 30 questions. For MEQ, we had a case on Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome (NMS). We had to discuss about the sign and symptoms, the investigations and also the management for the case. As for SEQ, we had two questions. 

1. About different types of anxiety disorder, definition of panic and agoraphobia & management of panic disorder.

2. 4 medical conditions related to opioids, signs and symptoms of opioid intoxication and withdrawal & management of opioid related disorder. 

I had to say that it was quite okay. I had done my best. Hopefully I could passed this posting. 

Next posting will be the Anaesth-Radio-Ortho block. I will start with Anaesthesiology posting first for two weeks, and then Radiology for two weeks and Orthopaedics for three weeks. 

This upcoming posting will be a nerve-wrecking and hectic posting. I might go on hiatus or emotionally unstable. Just kidding! But I do hope that I will enjoy this upcoming posting :)

Till then,

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

EOP : Psychiatry

Assalamualaikum and good evening.

So today I just had finished my End of Posting (EOP) exam for Psychiatry. Mind you that Psychiatry was not my cup of tea. Nevertheless, I decided to do my best for this exam.

As usual, I got very anxious starting the night before the exam had started. I just felt that I couldn't sit properly, worried about how am I going to perform during the exam, I couldn't concentrate to study (Please don't do this! Last minute study is not practically a good idea) and the list went on and on. 

Later that night I decided to go to the bed early. No caffeine intake but of course I couldn't help on checking my hand phone for the last minute before I went to bed. (Well, my sleep hygiene was partially fair, I must say) And not to forget I put down my notes and DSM-5 right beside my pillow; hoping for all the information in there would be osmosis during REM (Rapid Eye Movement). I knew it sounded ridiculous and I was being delusional but hey.. I could hope right? (Just kidding!)

I still remembered that I got a dream about the upcoming exam. In my dream, it was clearly shown that I got a case of alcohol (substance abuse). I was terrified because the patient looked kind of scary (with messy hair and dirty clothes). Suddenly, I woke up from my sleep. I couldn't even started interviewing him yet in my dream. Ah.. What a waste!

For the exam, we got two stations:

1. The modified long case. We needed to clerk and get a history from the patient and do the mental state examination (MSE) within 10 minutes. After that, there would be a Q&A session with the examiner for another 10 minutes. Total = 20 minutes.

2. Clinical Viva. We would be given a case scenario and then we needed to discuss it with the examiner. Duration = 10 minutes.

I had waited patiently for my turn (I was the 13th candidates out of 21). And still, I was very anxious and hoped that I could go back home soon!

For the station 1, I got a case on substance induced mania episode. (It was just like in my dream though it wasn't alcohol!)That was what I had told the examiner what my provisional diagnosis even though I was still in doubt that he could be having Bipolar Type I Disorder in manic episode. For the station 2, it was a case of substance induce psychosis (Again, it was substance induced case!) I was kind of sad because there were lots of things that I forgot to ask. To be honest, I felt that I could do much better in both stations. My viva station had been just suck. I just hoped that I could pass this exam. I would be grateful enough :)

But..Please don't take it seriously about my dream. It was just a coincidence. Nothing much. But I still remembered that one of the specialists had gave us a good and loving advice on the night before the exam started. She asked us about our preparation for the exam and told us to pray a lot. Do solat Hajat and pray that you'll be given a good examiner, cooperative patient and easy case. I had always admired her ever since I was in this posting because her motherly side was shown in her personality. She was very caring, loving and kind. I was once entered her consulatation room and watched the way she consulted a patient and his family members. Subhanallah. She was what a doctor that everyone wished to seek for! I wished to be like her one day, insyaAllah :)

Alhamdulillah I had just finished my first day of exam. Even though I wished I could do better, but I was grateful to Allah because He had helped me a lot throughout this entire day. I felt so blessed. 

That's all from me. I needed to study for my theory paper in this upcoming Friday. Please make du'as for us will ya'?

Till then,

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Friday, May 15, 2015

Let's talk about mental health

My current posting is Psychiatry and to be honest, I actually don't like it at the very first place. Why? Because you know it isn't that challenging like other postings. In fact, you have to deal with insane people. That's what I thought. 

But after a few weeks in this posting, it totally have changed my perspective about it. Mental illness is a very serious problem in the society. Many of us are having one, but only a few of us want and willing to seek for treatment in health care services. This is due to the social stigma; people will labelled those who went to the psychiatrist as 'crazy' hence they are not willing to share about their problems and prefer to deal it alone. They do not have guts to seek a doctor for help. Little that they know that it hurts from inside and slowly taking a toll on their life.

There is a lot of mental illness. They are schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic Disorder, Sexual disorder like pedophilia and many more (just to name a few). When we see people talking to themselves, behave aggressively, we quickly judge them. We tend to label them 'insane' or 'crazy' and hence avoid them. But do we really know what they are having and dealing with? They might be hearing voices that talking to them and command them to do things that they would never want to. We often see these people who are mentally ill as a threat and afraid to go near them.

“Generally, there has been an increasing burden of mental health problems over the past 10 years and it is expected to rise over the next 20 years unless measures are taken to address those issues,” The Star, August 2014.

According to the World Health Organization, depression is expected to be the leading cause of disability by 2020.

You can read more here.

Based on the statistics, more Malaysians are expected to suffer mental health problems. This could be due to the job-related stress, unemployment, high-living costs and relationship problems. Some people might say that, "just because of these things and you got depressed? You must be kidding me!" 
Well, you might be good in handling the stress, but some people are just not. They might be thinking way too far and then boom! They have depression or bipolar disorder.

Not every Malaysians know and aware about this issue because they don't get enough explanation and exposure about it. We need to create more awareness to the society about this issue. 

Take home message: 
If you don't feel good, you feel like you are not acting like usual or you feel you want to talk to somebody, don't be afraid or shy to seek for treatment. It doesn't have to be you, it might be your family or friends.

Spread the awareness and stop being judgmental.

Till then,

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Read more :

1. Mental Health - The Facts
2. Mental Health

Friday, May 8, 2015

Happy 22nd Birthday!

Happy 22nd Birthday to me! 
Hahaha. I'm getting older. It's a fact. It's nothing to be proud or ashamed of.

I hope that as I grow older, my deeds are also increase. I hope I can contribute more to this ummah. I do wonder,  22 years of living in this world, what have I contributed to His path? Towards the Ummah? 

till then, 

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Local students VS Overseas students

So recently there was news about students who studied local and abroad. The local student claimed that those who studied abroad had so much fun; had high allowance money and travelled here and there. Then the overseas student claimed about how grateful the students were because whenever they felt homesick, they can just simply go back home without thinking about the class, the flight tickets, etc. Not to mention that they could attend their siblings wedding ceremony and all the family gatherings.

This topic was a very hot topic. There were debates everywhere in the social media. Frankly speaking, both parties, of course, wanted to defend themselves. I didn't say that this party was right and that party was wrong. You see, it wasn't a big deal anyway. It was kinda funny when people were fighting about this. I thought that 'Ain't nobody got time that for that!' Man, I was wrong!

In my point of view who is a local student, I admitted that sometimes I got jealous of my friends who were studying abroad. New people, new places, different cultures and all that.. Especially looking at those pictures they had been uploading when they went for holidays in Facebook, Twitter or Instagam. Who doesn't want it? I had been dreaming to further my studies abroad ever since I was little but hey.. Look at me now. I'm here in my beloved country, Malaysia and currently struggling to finish my medical school. It didn't sound so pathetic or sad as far as I'm concerned. I didn't feel regret or ashamed of it because I knew that Allah had planned everything for me and He is the best Planner.

But yeah, it wasn't that bad. I believe that there were pro and cons in studying whether local or overseas. But the thing that does really matter is YOU! How did you do in your study?

Let's say if you studied here, how is your time management? What do you do during your free time? Are you busy hang out in the shopping mall with bunch of your friends? Are you busy line up to watch the latest movie? Are you busy cafe-hopping? Are you busy 'lepak' in mamak stalls? How do you spend your allowance? I know sometimes it feels like it is not unfair because our allowance here in Malaysia is not high compared to those who studied abroad. Plus, sometimes in our course (like me for example) we need to travel here and there. But actually if you do your budget, organize it properly, it wouldn't be so bad. I don't say that I'm good in managing my finances, but we need to start from now. It is never too late.

Regarding the financial, here's some tips for you:

1. Don't eat at the fancy restaurants, fast foods
I do have to admit that sometimes I do need to take fast foods because of the time. But if you reduce it, let's say you only take it once or twice a month, you will realize that you can spend a lot! Just ignore what your friends have posted in Instagram. Well, you are not going to die if you don't eat at the fancy restaurant! I do eat at the fancy restaurant, but only in certain occasions like celebrating our EOP exam. Just don't eat regularly.

2. Plan your budget.
Make a list of what you have spent and record it for the entire week. At the end of the month you will know what you should cut on, how much you have spent and how much you have saved.

3. Only buy the necessary things.
I know it's hard, especially for girls. The moment you scrolled the Instagram, you can see a lot of those instashop who made very great deals. Don't be easily being tricked. You should know your budget first. Then think again, is it really necessary for you to buy it? If you buy it, will your allowance be enough for you till the end of this month? Tbh I'm not a fan of online shopping thing. This is because I'm afraid of this scam people, and plus I don't even have an online banking! (Just recently sign up on on last March because I just need to! If not, I won't do it)

4. Start saving.
Ever since we are little, we are being taught of to have this saving habit. So, why don't you do it anymore? The more you get older, the more you need the money. Isn't that so? Start saving from now even though it is only a few cents. It's okay. By the end of the year, you will know how much that you have saved! And if you have a hobby that requires a lot of money like me (for example: travelling), start saving up from now on. If you feel jealous over your friends who study abroad who always go for vacation, why don't you try to do it too? Well, I know, a trip to the UK might cost you thousands, but travelling doesn't mean you have to go to a fancy country. You can start to travel within our country first. It isn't half bad. Have you been to Sabah and Sarawak? Have you been to all the beaches here in Malaysia? Come on!

So that's all that I can think about right now. I'm sorry for the grammatical errors and all. 

Till then.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Looking Glass 2.0

I had posted a post with the same title (Looking Glass) hence I decided to put on 2.0 at the back-- so here's the 2.0 version. 

The previous post was just about the lyrics (Looking Glass by Native Deen) and how I was touched with it. And this morning when I was listening to it again during breakfast, it hit me really hard. 

I still remembered that I was very touched when I first listened to the song. It seemed like it was specifically directed to me. And now, the feelings came back again.

For the past few months, I was not into myself. I had this kind of feeling that I had never felt it before. I was very far from Him. I had done so many sins that outweighed the sea. I was ashamed to myself and most importantly, Allah. 

I pray to Allah so that He could forgive me. 
I pray to Allah so that He could lead me to straight path.
I pray to Allah so that I could be a better Muslimah.
I pray to Allah so that He could increase my iman.
I pray to Allah so that I would always be blessed Him.


without wax,
haniyahaya :)

Friday, April 17, 2015

Where is my car key?

Last Wednesday, I went to the psychiatric ward in HSB. The ward wasn't in the main hospital building but at PKKN. To make the long story short, after I had clerked the patient in the ward I quickly rushed to go to the main hospital as I was worried that I might be late for my BST (bed-side teaching).

Suddenly when I wanted to unlock my car, I realized that my car key was gone! I was 100% sure that I had locked my car and put the key into my lab coat pocket but when I was searching for wasn't there!

I was very worried because the car key had the car plate number on it and if people had found it, they could drive my car away easily! How bad was that?!

I went to the ward again and tried to look for it at there but I had found nothing. I tried to follow back the track that I used to walk to the ward but car key was nowhere to be found!

I tried to calm myself but my thoughts were racing about the classes, the tutorials that we needed to prepare, case write up, arranging the BST session with the specialist and last but not least my lost car key! I felt so exhausted!

After the BST session ended I went again to look up for my car key but the search went nothing. I went to meet the security guard there to ask her if she had found my car key or someone else who found it and gave it to her but!

Since we had class in HTAR that evening, I was thinking on how would we going back? Arina did not drive because this week was supposed to be my turn (we were car-pooling btw). We then decided to take a taxi to Shah Alam so that Arina could drive us to HTAR. Alhamdulillah, we then met our 2 of our classmates who were in Radiology postings and they were very kind to give us a ride to Shah Alam since they were going to have class in MSU later that evening. We were very relieved. Pheww! Well at least we hadn't need to spend our money on taxi!

Later after the class at HTAR ended, I went to HSB to pick up my car with my dad using the spare key which he took it in Bangi. I was kinda afraid my dad would be angry at me. First, the accident. Now, the car key had lost. What's next?

The next day, I received a call from that security guard. She told me that my car key was finally found. She didn't tell me the details how she had found it but she asked to come to HSB on the next Monday (since she would be leaving to go back to her hometown).


Well, I felt so down because of what happened. The accident and this things came out. I hoped that there would never be the next one. Naudzubillah.

Big thanks to Arina and Faqir who had helped me all the way in the mission of SAR of my car key. May Allah bless! :)

without wax,
haniyahaya :) 

p/s: Please forgive my grammar and the whole structure of my post. I just finished my CWU (tulah buat last minute lagi!) and my mind wasn't that good enough to write a very lengthy essay.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Jihad al-Nafs

Last two weeks were a major turn on and stressful weeks for me. Alhamdulillah, I'm following a good pace now (and I'm still trying hard to follow the rhythm and to get back on track). 

Nevertheless, I just wanted to share with you a good ayah from the Quran that I had recited just now. It gave me something to ponder. 

Source : haniyahaya

"Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while Allah has not yet made evident those of you who fight in His cause and made evident those who are steadfast?" 
[Ali-Imran 3:142]

It made me realize that those things that happened to me were the tests from Him; whether I realized it or not. Frankly speaking, I felt that I was far from Him. And those tests were just right for me so that I won't be too far from Him, I won't be so much ashtray and away from Him, so that it would make me stronger and a better Mukmin. I knew that I hadn't felt so much content when I prayed and did all those good deeds. It just felt like nothing. I was heartless. I didn't have that kind of eager in me to do the right and good deeds. 

May Allah guide and help me to the righteous path. 

Ya muqallib al-qulub, thabbit qalbi ‘ala dinik
O turner of the hearts, make my heart firm upon your religion.

without wax,
haniyahaya :)